perspective

It’s In The Bible

I am following the Bible-In-A-Year reading plan. Each day, there’s a section of the Old Testament, a section of the New Testament, a section of the Psalms, and a few verses from Proverbs. I like it a lot, and am mostly very faithful. When I am not, I never have an excuse. I missed yesterday. What was I doing? Nothing. I ate pizza, took a nap, watched the finale of a show called Extracted, and 2 game 7’s in the NBA playoffs. You can see how easy it was to forget, with all of this terribly important stuff going on. So, today I read 2 days worth, May 3 and May 4.

[Incidentally, today is May the 4th, which has been ridiculously christened Star Wars Day. I know this because 1. I love Star Wars, and 2. Because the man monitoring the self-check at my supermarket gave the super special greeting, “May the 4th be with you.”]

Yesterday’s Old Testament reading was from Judges, chapters 17 & 18, and was awfully strange…

A man named Micah stole a substantial amount of money from his mom. She didn’t know this, so she put a curse on whoever did it. When he became aware of this curse, he confessed and returned the money. She was happy, and, as you do, she took the money and had it cast into an idol (“in honor of [her] son” – it’s not stated what it looked like, but in my head, it was a silver bust of Micah. That sounds appropriate.) that Micah kept in his house. Then, a Levite (the Israelites tribe of priests) happened to be traveling by, and Micah asked him to live with him and become his personal priest, which he did. So, then, a group of Israelites from the tribe of Dan sent some scouts (who ended up at Micah’s house), who noticed the town of Laish (a fertile land inhabited by “peaceful and secure” people.) The Dan-ites took the advice of the scouts and decided to take that town. As they went, they passed by Micah’s house. These scouts told the rest of the idol & other valuable items, so they went into Micah’s house and took them. They also convinced the Levite to come with them and be their priest. The tribe of Dan took Laish with swords, burned the town to the ground, and renamed it Dan, where they set up Micahs idol to worship.

And there’s no more, chapter 19 just moves on to the next story. This is the entire story of Micah, Micah’s mom, their idol, Dan’s theft and subsequent destruction of “peaceful” Laish. I think there is value in every word of the Bible, even when we can’t immediately see it, that there’s layer after layer of wisdom to be discovered. I believe there is not a wasted word and nothing is in the Scriptures by accident or without purpose.

So, what about Judges 17 & 18? I think something should have gone wrong for Micah, who stole from his mother. But nothing did In fact, the opposite happened, there was blessing. They fashioned an idol? Why? Have you ever fashioned an idol? And, then something BIG and significant should have gone wrong for the Levite who monetized his priestly call to be someone’s personal priest, worshiping some random image, right? It should’ve gone wrong again, when the priest sold Micah out and moved on with the people who looted his house. But it sure didn’t. And Dan, one tribe of the 12 of God’s chosen people, who stole what may as well have been a golden calf, then destroyed a whole town of “peaceful” people, who didn’t do anything wrong except be peaceful – why wasn’t there consequence for them? This story isn’t supposed to end “happily ever after.”

This all makes me think of something my old pastor said. She asked the age-old question, if a tree falls in the forest and I’m not there to hear it, does it make a sound? “Of course it does!” The world doesn’t revolve around me, it continues to operate and trees continue to crash even if I’m not involved. She thought it was a terrific analogy to illustrate our limitless arrogance.

Does this passage truly not make sense simply because I can’t find sense in it? Of course not. Why would I get to decide what should be, or how things are supposed to go? Just because I’m selfish?

I really cannot find any meaning or purpose in it. It sounds all wrong to me. But I think I’m seeing what 1 word I’m missing: now. I can’t find meaning…now. It sounds wrong…now. How many passages and verses didn’t make sense to me the first time I read them? How many didn’t the 300th time? Jesus’ teaching on the “pearls to pigs” in the sermon on the mount is a perfect example. I thought it was impenetrable and silly, but it just turns out that I was. Now it’s thick with meaning and informs much of my behavior in relationships.

Maybe this story about Micah and his mom will be the same way. Or maybe it won’t. But today I had my eyes opened by this passage, and I didn’t so much like what I saw. I guess Micah isn’t the only one who struggles with idolatry.

Every week is the same. We show up for Sunday service, turn on the equipment (lights, sound board, speakers, microphones) and sit down to connect & pray until people begin to show up. We do what we do first, just in case there happens to be a problem, which is usually battery related. Last week’s problem was not battery related. We had a worship leader with a mask and an illness. We also had a projector that wouldn’t work.

[The end, so it’s on no one’s mind: It seems likely that the projector issue is an HDMI cord issue, which should be a very easy fix.]

This is certainly not the first headache with the equipment. Technology is awesome until it’s not. Our first Christmas Eve, I remember walking down the hill through the graveyard trying to remember to pray, but instead mostly talking to myself. Really? We have a big night, new people, and now this?!?!? Christmas Eve is like a super bowl for a local church. We sometimes have only one chance to make an impression, and that impression is less than great without sound for the music or the sermon. Once, we inexplicably lost power to the whole building for one day – the next time we turned on the lights, everything was as usual. A car tire rolled down our parking lot and crashed through our front doors, destroying them. In the middle of one message, a strange Russian man walked through our door and right down the aisle and started to preach and hand out tracts. Most winters I lose a lot of my voice for a week or 2. I could go on and on.

Much of the planning concerns removing any foreseeable obstacles. It’s difficult to connect when you’re cold or hot, when it’s noisy, when the speaker is unprepared and unclear, under or over dressed, the piano is out of tune, anything could happen, really. We’re very simple, not too many dogs or ponies in our show, but we still get hiccups. We control what we can and open our hands to allow the Spirit to work (or anything strange and surprising) inside of our careful preparation.

Sunday it was the projection and a sickness, and I do concede that it’s not ideal. It’s easy to become distracted and focus on what has gone wrong. But that morning, I just happened to be thinking about the many things we put before God (in other words, idolatry). And projection is just another one. We think we neeeeed projection and fancy light shows and microphones and snacks, but we don’t. All we need is the Gospel. Those other things can and do help us connect and communicate, but they are not the message. Not even close. When we allow them to cloud our vision, when they become the point, we have lost our way. And weeks like this provide the opportunity to remember.

This is true in our personal lives, just as well as in our community. We can put any number of relationships, possessions, opinions, beliefs, details and circumstances in a category we call essential, and before we are even aware, those things usurp the throne of our lives. Our partners, car, party, football team, or job title become the primary force that drive every step & decision. The water gets muddy as God is quickly downgraded, simply serving other neeeeeds. But once they are stripped away, once they fail, we can hopefully see the truth – there is only One need, only One essential, and He never fails.

[That’s the end, but I do want to tell you a funny story. We began the service with a similar message to this post – I encouraged us to not confuse the medium for the message, and remember that Jesus is our 1 and Only. As I walked out and the music started, I met someone new in our narthex. She lamented about how she was looking for a faith community, but so many were only the show. Some didn’t even mention the Name of Jesus, but their performance was on point, practiced and trendy. She was looking for Jesus and His Word. I laughed, said we didn’t even have any projection, but that she sure would hear about Jesus. Funny how things happen how and when they do.]

Puzzle Pieces (extended)

[I wrote this yesterday for my other site, and I keep thinking about other implications & applications for my love of puzzles, so I’m adding to it here (minus the first paragraph about favorite restaurants, which was based on the site prompt and which you probably don’t care too much about).]

This post is a little late, I usually write on Mondays, but I was in the middle of a big, beautiful Star Wars puzzle. That shouldn’t matter, it shouldn’t be an obstacle to real life for a normal person. But I’m not a normal person. I have what’s called an addictive personality, so when I begin a puzzle, we can safely figure it will take nearly every second of my free (or writing/working) time until it’s done. And that’s what it did, for a couple of days, and now it’s finished and glorious.

I love puzzles, and I often used to wonder why. Now, I know. 

The world is more and more mixed up, confusing, frustrating, and I have almost no control over what happens on a macro level. Of course, I have lots and lots of control over how I treat my neighbors or what I buy at the grocery store, or how & when I brush my teeth. But I can’t stop any of the wars happening right now or make the sun come out. I can’t erase any of the President’s increasingly problematic posts on his personal social media site. I can’t bring gas prices down or help the Dallas Cowboys win the Super Bowl. 

So, it feels like our cultural, political, emotional, and economic environments are just big snarling masses of individual pieces, disconnected and random. It’s a dining room table of chaos. But in this Star Wars puzzle’s case, I can find 2 pieces that fit, then a third, and it starts to take shape. You hold one piece and think, how can this possibly make sense? And it really doesn’t, by itself, but there is a meta-narrative that recontextualizes everything, making one central ordered picture that’s full of meaning. 

I think that’s what the Bible is: our meta-narrative that gives the chaos order. It’s our big picture. Each piece is important to the whole, even if we can’t see it now, and it takes lots of patience and hope to continue. The pieces might be love, generosity, or kindness – each individual act or moment – and alone, don’t appear to make much of a difference. However, there is a masterpiece being created, and each of those “random,” “nonsensical” pieces are absolutely required for the final product. What does this mean for us? Well, it means we stay at it, persevering, moving the puzzle pieces, even when it doesn’t look like we’ll ever get done, like these pieces of ours will never matter, because we trust there is a giant Story being told and our pieces are integral. We keep showing up, even as the chaos rages and the temptation to quit rises. We keep showing up, loving The Creator of this Story and each other, in faith.

Puzzles work as a metaphor, a soothing intellectual exercise, a Gospel illustration, and they are super fun. Now that it’s done, I can just appreciate the beauty of cohesion and unity, and that’s just what I’ll do.

Jairus

In Sunday’s service, I stated a relatively simple but heavy truth that the Church almost always grows (in both width & depth) in times of oppression…but in prosperity, not so much. This has been played out and proven over history, and probably, our own lives.

In the book of Luke (8:41-42), “a man named Jairus, a leader of the local synagogue, came and fell at Jesus’ feet, pleading with Him to come home with him. His only daughter, who was about 12 years old, was dying.”

It’s not hard to vividly picture this scene in your head. He “came and fell,” “pleading.” His daughter is dying and he’s broken-hearted and broken, he’s poor in spirit. There’s nothing left to do, so he comes to a certain Rabbi, of whom he’s heard rumors. Who knows if they’re true, but he’s at the end of his rope. Imagine his face and footsteps. I don’t think he ran – maybe he did, but the word ‘fell’ brings images of heavy feet and slumped shoulders to me, of barely getting to Jesus before collapsing under the weight of such intense loss. He pleads, begs, cries, wails. “Help her, Rabbi, please help her!!” It’s 2 verses that are absolutely, totally devastating.

Now, maybe Jairus was always following Jesus, maybe he was one of the first followers. Maybe he knew Jesus, maybe he believed. But maybe not, and that’s what I imagine. If he knew him, believed, he would have come sooner. The Jairus in my head was skeptical, fell right into line with the Jewish teachers and Pharisees in his circle. Or maybe, even, he was decidedly not a believer. Instead, maybe he thought this Rabbi was a dangerous threat to his God and his religion.

But pain and suffering, oppression, lead us into some very uncomfortable spaces, right? We say & do things we might never say & do. We’re much more open minded, less likely to close any doors, more likely to open already closed doors. Jesus is a trouble-maker, but when her daughter is dying, what if it’s true??? What can it hurt?

Jairus asks. He seeks, He knocks. He cries out in his broken-ness. And God answers. When Israel is in Egypt and cries out, God answers.

When things are great, clicking along, the bills are paid, the sun is shining, we have a great tendency to forget. When we’re being promoted at work, we think we deserve it, we’ve earned it, we’re capable and strong. We know what to do. But when we’re fired, we’re lost, afraid, weak, and have no idea what to do or where to go. When we cry out for Help, God is far more apt to rescue us, than when we think we’re in control and so awesome we could never need/use any help from anyone.

To tell you the truth, as I’m thinking about it, Levi (Matthew) is a much more exceptional story. He was a guy who had a good job, power, lots of money, and when Jesus said, “Follow me,” he left that all behind. We’re probably way more Jairus than Levi.

Today is a gorgeous day, I slept great last night, and now I feel good and got a bunch done in the yard and my closet. I ate terrific pizza with my son for lunch. The Angel will be home in a minute. Today is a very good day. And I didn’t think of God too much, today. I said Thank You a few times, fleeting and quick. Sunday, I had a headache that woke me up out of sleep in the middle of the night, ibuprofen didn’t help, it was agony, and I spent hours in prayer.

The idea is that, whether we have everything or nothing, whether it’s sunny or sleeting, whether our bank accounts are overflowing or empty, whether our hearts are overflowing or empty, God is still God and loves us exactly the same. I bet this is the “secret” Paul talked about, except it’s not really a secret at all, it’s the secret practice of turning our hearts toward Jesus not only on Saturday, when it hurts, but also on Sunday, when we’re healed.

What We Believe About Everything

Last week, the new Morrissey album, Make-Up Is A Lie, was released (or “dropped” as the kids may still say). It’s really, really awful. If you have been with me for more than one second, you know how much that pains me to say. But this isn’t a review.

I’m instead wondering about the head- (and heart-) space of an artist. 

When a good-to-great artist (in this case, a transcendent artist) completes and readies (what we consider) a subpar album for release, does he/she feel: 1. This is awesome, maybe the best material I’ve ever done. Now, of course, he/she might be wrong, or we are. 2. This may not be my best work, but it’s totally solid. At this point in my life/career, with much success, this is another excellent work. 3. This isn’t great, but the media/label/public pressure is heavy and something new needs to come out NOW. It might be fine. I hope it’s better than I fear. Or, I suppose there is a 4th: This is a stinker, but there are so many people out there who will buy it no matter what. Who cares about them? Money is money. 

The specific is this album, but the real question is, how do we see each other? What is in the soul of a human being? Are we ultimately lacking integrity and looking to use each other as means to our own selfish end? Or do we genuinely mean well, even if things don’t turn out the way we hope? Can we be trusted? Who are we? 

And, since I see most things through a spiritual prism, when a religious person or group uses Scripture to beat up another person, shame and ostracize them, when they use verses as excuse for violence and hate, is this because they are simply looking for an excuse for violence and hate? Or, at the point of inception, do they truly believe that they are doing God’s/god’s will? Is it from their authentic faithfulness that their actions flow? Or is it spiritual abuse and garden variety manipulation, the convenient means that justify their own ends? 

I know, it’s just an album, and maybe something so trivial shouldn’t have any connection to our deepest held values. Or maybe what we believe about one thing is what we believe about everything. Or maybe that’s how it should be. I’m not sure that this album matters at all, but I am absolutely certain our perspective of every human being matters, and maybe they’re related.

I think he thinks it’s great. Maybe it’s not The Queen Is Dead, but he’s not that guy anymore. He’s this one, and he believes Make-Up Is A Lie is an A+. He’s not a bad guy, not a schemer, not a thief, not a guy with bad character, he just happens to be wrong. I’m not out on the old stuff, or the next album (if we’re lucky enough to get another one). I still trust him, and still love him the same, and will still wake up early to listen to his new songs. 

I have the honor of walking with many people, in pretty close proximity, sometimes at the worst moments of their lives. And those people can say some awful things. They/We can be rude, dismissive, belittling, condescending, and just plain nasty, at times. When that happens – when they drop the interpersonal equivalent of Make-Up Is A Lie, what do we do with that? Are they/we simply the last thing (or the worst) we’ve done? I don’t think so. That person who hurt us, maybe they’re also not bad guys, or schemers, maybe they don’t have bad character…Maybe they’re hurting, or maybe they’re just human. Maybe they’re made in the image of God, wholly loved, just like we are.

Now that I think about it, they probably are related.

Details

The site (in it’s daily prompt) is asking about my approach to budgeting. Maybe this is interesting, maybe you’d like to know, maybe right now you are considering a budget to get a handle on your finances and think the universe directed you here for THE answer. If the universe directed you here, it was for a different reason, not budgeting principles; I’m actually not going to write about my approach to budgeting. However, budgeting certainly fits into what I opened my computer to discuss.

In last week’s message, we studied the parable of the soils. In this story, Jesus explained how we all receive messages or information, advice, correction, and on and on. It could be anything, really. But in this case, it’s the Gospel. We might not receive it at all. We might like it now, but the second the path gets hard, we abandon it. We might like it now, but get distracted by/in our pursuit of pleasure or comfort. And we might like it now and soak it up and end up completely transformed. The obvious question is, what kind of soil are we??? How do we encounter new ideas, especially the ones that are critical or outside of our current understanding? Do we hold a growth or fixed mindset? Do we already know everything there is to know? Are we always right?

Our world is overflowing with this fixed perspective. We fight like crazy to defend our right-ness and ignore any conflicting evidence. I suppose this is pretty natural. We get lost and try to find our worth in all sorts of counterfeits, and that leads us to hold & rabidly defend our positions because we’ve tied our worth to our production. If we’re not right, if we don’t have the answers, then what are we? We’re hard, bad, unfriendly soil.

SO, what this has to do with budgeting is in the details we build into our lives to open us up to new pathways. How we show up on a Sunday morning is often influenced by Saturday night or last week or this coming week. And how we show up to ourselves & each other is always set by our heart posture towards the world. What matters? If nothing does, then nothing does. If only some specific items matter, then we can easily give much much less (if anything at all) in the other spaces. But if everything matters, then every moment is holy and cracking with significance. Each conversation, interaction, book, show, meal, has the potential to give life.

What are our own details?

Maybe there aren’t any, and probably in that case, our lives testify to that lack. We are reactionary and chase whatever is here, now, and shiny. Where does our money go? If we aren’t choosing to be intentional (i.e. budgeting), then we’ll find we’re choosing to be poor stewards of these gifts. This principle works for time, energy, for everything you can think of.

The parable is so important (much more than I ever guessed) because everything else depends on the quality of our own, personal soil. And tilling that soil (with The Spirit) requires an attention to details, intentionality, and discipline. Yes, of course, we don’t like that, but if we remain poor soil, nothing new gets in – we stay voices of screaming rage in political message boards, never listening, never empathetic, never connecting – and stay the same people that we’ve always been.

How do you prepare to read, to pray, to eat? How do you come to the table or the gym? What does your desk look like? Do you have a routine/plan when you go to bed? It would be great if those answers didn’t display, or assign, value, but they do. And this parable leaves us with my favorite question: now what?

Messages

The site prompt (every day, the hosting website for this blog suggests a topic to encourage regular interaction) for yesterday was, “If you could un-invent something, what would it be?” And today, it’s “What makes a good leader?”

I receive just a few mass emails, one is from a man named Mark Manson, and his email is called Your Next Breakthrough. The first section is entitled, “One Thing For You To Think About,” and today, that thing is: Actions are your values made real. You can talk and talk, but at the end of the day, your actions never lie. Then, the next is, Two Things For You To Yourself, and they are: Is there something you tell yourself you value but your actions don’t follow? Is there something you tell others you value but your actions don’t follow?

Another list I belong to is WiRE (if there’s a reason for that particular capitalization, I have no idea what it is), by Justin Camp. He gives a short teaching, today it ends with, “For community to work, for truth to flow properly, we must understand and appreciate each other. And we begin by telling our stories. If we don’t begin there, we’re likely to damage community and to do damage to each other—like when we give advice and try to “fix” a person, or a situation, we don’t fully understand.” Then, he asks, “Okay, so what do we do?” and answers, “Do you know your brothers’ stories? If you haven’t already, give each man an hour—at least—to tell his story, completely. Have each man start at the beginning and bring his story current. Encourage transparency. Ask no questions. Give no advice. Just listen.” (WiRE is directed at men, but is obviously not only for men.)

I’m sharing this because we are under a near-constant barrage of information, every sense stimulated (over-stimulated?) everywhere we go, everywhere we are. What do we do with all of it? How do we filter what is valuable from what is not? Do we even recognize how much is fighting for our attention? And, then what? Are we intentional with what we take in, do we engage with it, or simply go where the wind of the algorithm pushes us?

You might think I would suggest we unplug from all of this, and avoid the avalanche of messages. But if you do, you’d be mistaken, because I recognize that it is absolutely impossible to escape our current, modern reality. It’s like those people who swear they aren’t affected by advertising or marketing – I don’t know if they’re lying or just wrong. McDonald’s has sold “billions and billions” of hamburgers, and it’s certainly not because they’re good.

So, since we can’t drop out, what do we do? I suggest we lean in, in the spaces we choose. The above examples are perfect. There are only 2 emails – I got 30+ today that I either unsubscribe, block, or delete – and I’ll consider those 2 carefully. I’m going to ask myself those 2 questions about the consistency of my values & actions. (I already know I am not perfectly aligned, I can easily think of 2 areas, and I’m sure there will be more.) And, as far as WiRE, I’m already on board with what he’s saying, but it does give me a new way to say it (and in my line of work, any new ways to communicate ideas are valuable.)

The prompts are not always awesome, but when they are, they can be quite enlightening. What would you un-invent? That might be a light to a new path for you. We’ve heard it said that the things that make us angry can open our eyes to our hearts, show us the places where we may need to get involved. And leadership?? 2 things. First, I can’t imagine there could be better time to think &. talk about this. And second, we’re all leaders to someone. How are we holding that opportunity/responsibility? What kind of leaders are we? Then, to neatly tie these together, is it the kind of leader we want to be? Are the things we say we believe, the things we care about, clearly seen in our lives?

We might be too busy or distracted or worried or whatever to sift and sort the stampede of stimulation. But I think it’s possible that it becomes it’s own circle, we are too distracted to sift, which keeps us distracted, so we can’t sift, which keeps us distracted, repeat forever. It’ll take our attention, intention, and interest in the creation of our own lives.

It’s all in front of us, there’s no going back, the only question is if we’ll seek His hand, open our eyes, wake up and jump into this beautiful gift and what we’ll make, together.

Thinking About You

I don’t always sleep great, and sometimes, that leaves me watching documentaries in the middle of the night. Last night/this morning, I watched one on Amazon called The Hobby: Tales From The Tabletop, about the subculture of people who play modern board games. I say modern, because it wasn’t about Monopoly or Operation, the new games are strategic and complicated, with pages & pages of instructions. They’re more D & D than Scrabble, more Call of Duty than Pac-Man. It was terrific, I love stories that are so quintessentially human.

And it made me think of the Bridge.

Last night, at Open Door (the church’s prayer ministry/group/meeting), we sat and talked, laughed, openly shared our circles, the people that mean so much to us, and what we/they are going through. The things we talk about are, in turns, heartbreaking and joyful. The only requisites are honesty and vulnerability.

Just before that, I sat in a men’s group. Earlier in the day, I spoke to my sister in the parking lot of the tapioca shop near my house – 2 things I do every Tuesday. I know the cashier’s names and they know mine. The day before, I had a 2 hour lunch with a friend I have known since we were born. After the documentary this morning, after the Angel left for work, I went to the gym. Tonight, I’ll go to a college basketball game. But before that, we’ll meet one of the Angel’s closest friends (when I think & talk about how much she’s brought into my life, these people are near the top) for dinner. Every single one of these things have an activity in their center, but the activity is completely superfluous. It’s the who that matters far more than the what.

I often reference a passage about the prophet Elijah. He’s alone, broken, and crying out to God, Who doesn’t answer any of his questions. Not one. But what He does do is point Elijah to town, where he can find some buddies. When I first read it, it sounded like God was profoundly misunderstanding what Elijah needed, maybe being intentionally unhelpful. But now, I see. The only one who was misunderstanding Elijah’s needs was Elijah. God created Elijah (and you and me and our neighbors and everybody,m everywhere, forever) and knew perfectly well how much he needed people to play board games with him.

How many years have I wasted allowing friendships to fade, not returning phone calls and not reaching out? How many times have I cancelled meetings and missed moments, simply because I forgot (or ignored) what my heart & soul were obviously seeking, what gifts & opportunities God was very obviously providing? How many tears have I cried, desperately needing comfort and connection, but always pridefully crying alone? And how about the wonderful things I kept to myself, about to burst?

So, this is why I thought about the Bridge. I see we’ve been building a great big beautiful ball of knotted yarn, where it’s impossible to tell where you stop and I begin. Now, my celebrations and sufferings are yours, yours are mine. We are a family, with all the love and complexities that families carry. We are the living, breathing illustration of God’s love, wisdom, grace and mercy towards Elijah. We are the small, humble question and His answer, the call and His gift.

Maybe God will answer all of our prayers in exactly the way we want, the way we ask them at Open Door. To one situation, I said, “well, that’s what I want and that’s what I’m asking for,” and we all laughed. But who knows, maybe the answer will be “Yes.” But it’s hardly the point, in sort of the same way the lunch and tapioca and basketball aren’t the point. (Our prayers are closer to the point than the tapioca, but the gift is never more important than the Gift-Giver, the One we pray to is always more important than the prayer.) He’s already answered all of the deepest prayers we too often leave unasked, He’s answered them with each other, with people to love and be loved by, with His love & redemption, with new life.

So, I watched this cool, weird documentary thinking of you, my community, my family…I am overwhelmed with gratitude, and I just wanted you to know.

A Romans 12 Season

My youngest son plays basketball in college, and they are in the early/middle parts of a complete culture change. For the last several years, the team has lost many more than they have won, and that can take a toll. They now believe that they will lose these games, that this is who they are. In 2 games last week, the team lost in the final minute to two of the top teams in the conference. In the sports world, this is what has historically been called “learning how to win.” It sounds like nonsense; a made-up concept bad teams invent to excuse a poor record.

But I don’t think it’s an excuse, and I don’t think it’s for bad teams.

I have a sometimes unhealthy relationship with food, and with my weight. I know the things to do, all of the principles of healthy eating, and I begin with the best intentions that can last for quite a while. Then, I make a poor decision or whatever, and the same tired, condescending voice rings in my ears (the same voice I’ve heard since junior high), telling me that this was bound to happen, this is who I am.

This happens in marriages (we try to reconnect, set a new focus), work (turn over a new leaf, change our mindset), in all areas of our personal lives (flossing, exercise, habits, reading, etc). We start to go to the gym – and we do…until we miss a day and are reminded by our own tired, condescending voices that we’re not that different, we’re still the same people we were yesterday. We believe we’ll lose these games.

It’s not that we can’t, it’s that we’ve lost our imagination to build new pathways in our minds.

Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” I’m not sure what the pattern of the world was, when Paul wrote it, but I’m pretty sure it’s despair today. This pattern says today is just like last week and last year, you are the same and you’ll never change, this is just who you are. My boy’s college team is just going to lose these games, thats how it is and how it will always be. You will always fail in your diet, in your Bible In A Year reading, whatever it is for each of us.

We need to learn how to win, or how Romans puts it, “be transformed by the renewing of [our] minds.” I may make poor decisions in the kitchen today, but that does not define me – I can have a healthy relationship with food. No matter what that voice says, it’s not hopeless and I am not hopeless. I am new, my mind just needs to catch up.

This team is in the middle of a Romans 12 season – and maybe so are we. Mine is food, but everyone’s is different. Everyone’s mind is renewed to various things, in various spaces. The constant is His faithfulness in our transformation. We are becoming new creations, with new identities. This doesn’t happen overnight, and usually (sadly) not in great big leaps. Mostly, it happens in baby steps, replacing that voice with Our Creator’s Voice, with the Truth, one heartbreaking game at a time.  

A New Year

I always get overwhelmed with emotions at this time of year. Looking at the past, dreaming of the future, but mostly looking around. Who am I, now? What am I doing? Where am I, and where am I going? We discussed new beginnings on Sunday, like every new year’s message, encouraging all of us to ask those same questions.

This exercise is one of mindfulness. As the Cheshire Cat so eloquently states, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” (Or, at least, that’s what we remember. It’s not exactly right. The Cat asks, “Where do you want to go?” Alice replies, “I don’t know,” to which the Cat responds, “Then, it doesn’t matter.” That might not be right, either. There are a thousand variations out there, and I’ve never seen the movie or read the book, and since I haven’t, I guess I don’t care – I know the story – so we’ll just use any. We get the point.) Jesus also asks a blind man, “What do you want me to do for you?” They’re different, but they come from, and are aimed at, the same heart posture. What are we doing? What do we care about? Why this, why now, why us?

What do we want, and what road will be take to get there?

Of course, we write all of this in pencil, and not pen, holding on loosely to the path. So much of our lives and world are uncontrollable, and most of our stress is trying to control what will not be controlled. That’s ok. It does speak to our inadequacy, but in a good way. We are not designed to control everything. I’m not sure where we ever got the impression that we are, so we can let that go. Our answers are simple self-evaluation, listening to our hearts & souls, and how the Spirit is gently leading us. Sometimes, this guidance is a whisper and, if we aren’t intentional, the deafening noise of everything else makes that whisper unrecognizable. Then, it’s years and years of reaction, and we wake up and have no idea how we ended up here.

This exercise also ends up being an exercise in gratitude, for me. Contentment and complacency are not synonyms. I am content, very happy, when I look around, I love this view. But I am not complacent. As much as I love this view, I know it’s not the end. I like the process of deciding what to keep, what to leave behind, what I’ll do, what needs my attention, and (maybe even more important) what does NOT need my attention. Some things that were great for me then, aren’t now.

I have a lot of cds – I was a collector of all sorts of music (vinyl, cassettes, even 8 tracks) – and one of my favorite things was to empty my racks onto the floor and reorganize them: genre, release date, straight alphabetical, any way I could imagine. This is how I see this construction, but using my life (demands, responsibilities, opportunities, possibilities) instead of cds.

My purpose doesn’t ever change. I am still carrying out the great Commission, loving all people everywhere I go, everywhere I can, but how I do that can transform over time. As far as that purpose goes, I don’t know if I’ve ever been more committed than right now. That is my direction, my path, and it’s the perfect path for me. (I might suggest it is the perfect path for all of us – just the “how” we travel that path changes.) And I get to ask one of the most exciting, scary, beautiful questions: “Now what???”