“Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life.” That’s the site prompt today, and I sure like it. We should do this, and tell someone. And probably, if we don’t have simple things like this, then we should get one immediately. You know I do puzzles, listen to songs and sing along loudly, lift weights, watch documentaries, write these blogs, read books… I am a simple man, so it just stands to reason that I’d have a life full of simple things that bring joy. I bet there are so many who would call my life unbearably boring, and I am more grateful than I can tell you for my simple, boring, wonderful life.

This morning, I woke up to the sounds of sirens. There were many and they were so loud. As it turns out, a bar in our little town was burning. It’s the second time this business has been ravaged by a fire in 7 years. 2 adjacent apartments were affected, displacing residents. One of the families in one of those apartments has 5 elementary school-aged children (I knew this early because I happen to be married to a school employee, but I would know this now because it’s all over the news). They have lost most of everything they own.

The Angel and I cried together, separately, this morning. We also were victims of catastrophic disasters that stole everything we owned. And now I see this prompt about joy and gratitude, and it seems connected. (This isn’t surprising, because everything is connected, if we only have eyes to see. But the connections between some things are easier to notice, even without “eyes that see,” aren’t they?)

There was recently a pretty massive disruption that swept through our family, and required days and (probably) weeks of recovery. It was full of broken hearts and drama, tears, relief, uncertainty, hope, and pain. Today, when I hear these sirens and see this news, our terrible time feels smaller, in comparison.

But we don’t compare, do we? Our pain is our pain, and should never be minimized or de-valued. The people who remind us that our hurts are smaller than another’s are not our friends. Instead, they’re tone deaf and are woefully lacking in empathy. Rather than climbing into our pain with us, their uncomfortability forces them to act out of their own selfish interest to “cheer us up,” so that they don’t have to feel any darkness.

However. This morning’s tragedy does bring new perspective, like a sledgehammer. Our drama was awful, but doesn’t require us to rebuild our entire lives. We had to process human behavior, brokenness, and loss with our sons, 19 and 21 years old. But we didn’t have to hold small children, and each other, soothing them, assuring them that we were there, still together, badly emotionally and physically wounded but intact, we would mourn and we would rebuild, heal. (I remember those exact conversations like they happened yesterday, my heart still aches for my boys and my Angel.)

I guess the true thing is that we are all in this, all tethered by our spirits and The Spirit. Our pain sure isn’t magically smaller in another’s (often, people would say to us, “if it makes you feel any better…” then give a story of their loss – and it never made us feel better. Why would it??), but it does connect us in ways we could not artificially manufacture. Our eyes open (they take vital steps towards those “eyes that see”), we are jarred out of our own stories, and compelled to enter into new stories. We move to help, to carry, to pray, to hold. Our hearts grow through the pain, as we become more and more empathetic.

The site prompts like today’s are important, because we constantly return to our joy, our blessings, our gratitude. And so is our inevitable pain, our certain loss & tragedy. Sharing this human experience, all made in Our Creator’s image, invites us to acknowledge the truth that we are all His, so similar in so many ways. When we are grateful, and when we are broken, these are the times we stop looking through these lying, deceptive lenses that tell us otherwise. There aren’t divisions between neighbors and enemies in ruin, only brothers & sisters.

The End.

As I read through this, I realize that it might not be as coherent as usual, it might be messy, chaotic. That might be on purpose. I am not as coherent as usual, I am messy, chaotic. Life is complicated, with many conflicting forces all working concurrently inside of our heads and hearts. We’re just trying to make sense of all of it, but sometimes, there isn’t any “making sense of all of it.” Sometimes, it’s just trying to survive, in the midst of catastrophe. Other times, we’re so grateful we could explode. And then, there are times when both of them are absolutely real and noisily, confusingly coexist. And we (all of us, all of you, all of them) are always there, beautiful gifts from a Loving, Living God. And that’s enough.