decisions

Worth It

Last week, inclement weather pushed us to cancel the Sunday morning service. This is never a decision I particularly enjoy making. I’d really like it to be very, very clear, either a sunny day or a foot of snow. But an inch or 2 of snow is that blurry in between. Probably everybody’s ok, we will come if we’re comfortable, we won’t if we aren’t. But only probably… What if something terrible happens? Then what? That isn’t my fault, but it would absolutely feel like it forever. If someone falls and breaks a hip or a wrist, that is my broken hip or wrist. A car accident is my car accident.

Emotions aren’t always rational.

It was cold and windy and slippery, and we stayed home. Live-streaming is something we began, along with everybody else, during COVID. It is a fine supplement, but a terrible substitute. I don’t really like it. However, in ugly weather (or illness or vacation), it is a way to stay connected. On the stream, I said, “it just isn’t worth it,” and, as I was saying it, I didn’t like how it sounded at all. Meeting together is one of the most important practices, one of the most important parts of the week, and a vital component of our physical & mental (as well as spiritual) health, and too often, it falls into the category of “if we have time and nothing else to do.” Maybe saying “it isn’t worth it,” gives an impression I don’t intend. But when measured against our lives, we’ll stay home, right?

We could’ve met. The roads weren’t as dangerous as they could have been – the townships do a good job of cleaning up. This always leads me to second guess the decision, we totally should have met. Those kind of “should’s” stay with me for a while, as they might for everyone, on a loop in my head. But not this one, and I’ll tell you why.

Just before 12, I got a text from a very great friend, wondering if we could talk on the phone. I would have missed this text on any other Sunday, but this time, I was able to say yes. For the next hour, we poured our hearts out, both of us in various states of the pain & exhilaration of seeking and finding, falling and rising. We had both been searching for God in the previous weeks, and He had either delivered in spectacular fashion, or He had not yet (or at all). The conversation was 100% depth, we did not mention the snow or sports scores.

I didn’t like making the decision, and I missed the time with you, missed the hugs and crackling energy of our worship. It’s exponentially better giving messages to faces than the camera on my phone. We show up because we are a community, and this sort of beautifully close knit only happens in person, side by side, holding hands and intertwining lives.

This is a relatively small, momentary obstacle. Usually, any obstacles carry the question, “Why?” Why is this happening? This isn’t supposed to be like this, so why is it? And usually, we don’t get an immediate answer (if at all). But sometimes, we do. It’s that moment that is interesting to me. What do we do, then? When we can see this connection happen, in real time, in close enough proximity that we simply cannot miss, then what?

I was grateful to meet my friend in such a sacred space, but it didn’t take me long, upon reflection, that I began to think about trust. If there is purpose here, there is probably purpose everywhere, everywhen. Maybe when we can’t see it, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. Maybe we just can’t see it, for whatever reason. And maybe, when the obstacles or hiccups or nuisances or catastrophes happen (and they certainly will) instead of panic or control or worry, my first instinct could be to open my eyes and look around in anticipation of the movement of God. I wonder what I’ll find if I’m actually awake & aware.

So, no, I didn’t like it, but it was really worth it.

Cancelled!!

Good morning everyone!

I have some bad news. We’ve decided to cancel this morning’s service. I’ll miss you like crazy. If you have to be out, please be careful, it’s awfully cold and slippery.

We will still livestream the message from my home at 10:30am, this morning, so we can still stay connected (sort of) and continue our study of Ecclesiastes.

Next Sunday is the beginning of our Christmas celebration, please try to make every effort to be there Sunday and, especially, Christmas Eve (service at 7pm) – bring all of your friends to worship with us!!

Love. Peace.

chad.

Meaning

In this Sunday’s service, we discussed a few thoughts from theologians, and one of them had this short sentence: “We rejoice in the meaning God has given us with this life on earth.”

It was interesting to find this commentary regarding a book of the Bible, where the primary refrain is, “Meaningless!” Everything the writer mentions is all meaningless. Everywhere he looks is meaningless. Each of the paths we travel in our lives is always meaningless. Then why, in the middle of all of this despair, can our study lead us to “rejoice in the meaning God has given us?”

Of course, the Teacher (Solomon) doesn’t really think all of life is meaningless. His work is designed to lead us exactly here. So, here we are, and that leaves us wondering about the meaning in our lives. Do we rejoice in the beauty and crackling energy in & around our lives? And, if we’re not, why?

Maybe it’s because we’re distracted and sleepwalking through our lives, right? Maybe we don’t take a second to recognize this meaning/purpose, and be grateful in it. Maybe our lives seem disjointed and random, like they’re happening to us, instead of actually living them with intention and passion. Maybe maybe maybe.

I could continue to list possible reasons to explain our restlessness, our disconnect, but there sure isn’t a one size fits all. They’re as different as we are, mine isn’t yours isn’t The Angel’s.

We each have a story to our lives, inside of the BIG Story. It’s this story that gives us our purpose and/or meaning. And as coincidence would have it, in one of the weekly mass emails I receive, Mark Manson writes, “When people ask, “What is my life purpose?” What they’re actually asking without realizing it is: “How can I use my time in a way that feels meaningful.” … You don’t find your purpose. You build your purpose, experiment by experiment, mistake by mistake.” Then, he asks, “What do you spend your time on that feels meaningful? How can you do more if it?”

What do you think of that? Do we build our purpose? And what does that say about our passivity? What about if we’re waiting for our purpose to knock down the doors of our lives and sit down in the middle of the room, demanding to be addressed? Maybe it isn’t coming.

Yes, God gives each of us meaning – our lives are inherently meaningful. We are unbelievably important, and we don’t have to look for evidence – our existence, the fact that He has created us in, by, and for love, is proof enough. But from there…

How are we spending our time? If our purpose is something that must be built, how are we doing with that??

This email sent me down a new, different, unexpected path, but it’s certainly related. Maybe our joy comes from the pieces of our lives, chosen intentionally, and the way we order them, under Divine guidance. When you spend your time meaningfully, there is a natural joy in that, isn’t there? Maybe all of this, maybe all of creation, is inviting us into that, saying, “do more of that,” and asking us to really enjoy it.

I usually don’t end posts like this, but I am truly asking you, “what is that thing for you?” Tell me – call, email, text, comment, etc – just tell me. Nothing in this life was meant to be done alone (it is “not good”), and this is no different. Maybe meaning and purpose is something that is meant to be pursued and discovered (revealed?) in some dynamic combination of alone & together. So, how about we try that?

A New Thought

I read a New Testament passage and an Old Testament passage every day. It’s study, but not really specifically for any sermons, mostly just for me. Sometimes, it turns into something more. Other times, I just copy verses in my notebook and maybe write any thoughts I might have on them. I’m in 1 Corinthians and Isaiah, now.

Today, Isaiah 61:1-2 read, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, He has appointed me to bring Good News to the poor, comfort the broken-hearted…announce that the captives will be released, the prisoners will be freed, and the blind will see…He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.“

This sounds familiar because it appears again in Luke 4, where Jesus (at the beginning of His earthly ministry) goes into a Synagogue, unrolls a scroll, and reads this passage. It’s a goosebumps moment. Imagine if you were there, and this is happening in front of you, that a man comes as a teacher, and reads from a book you have known, about prophesies you have been waiting to see fulfilled, and makes the “me” about Himself. We have the benefit of hindsight, we know what is happening, what will happen, and most importantly, who He is. But imagine if we didn’t. Imagine if it was only a possibility. Could this be the One we’ve been waiting for?

Anyway, I love these kinds of moments. But today, I’m seeing this passage in a new way, connected to the path we’ve been on.

Sunday, we talked about 1 Corinthians 13 (incidentally, not where I am currently in 1 Corinthians – I’ll get there soon) as a statement on what it looks like to live & move through our lives as Jesus followers, in love (patiently, kindly, etc). This is a new branch of the same tree to be included in our self-examination.

We are called to bring the Good News – are we? To comfort the brokenhearted – are we? To announce that the captives will be released, the prisoners will be freed, that the blind will see – are we? To testify that the day of the Lord’s favor has come – are we? We are to do all of these with our hearts and bodies, as well as our mouths.

So, I know this is a 2nd post in as many days, but living an awake/aware existence today, here & now, leaves us in a peculiar position. We are saddened, broken daily with the behavior of our brothers and sisters, as well as our own. We feel powerless to change. And it is too easy to get caught up in this downward spiral of vitriol and violence. We need a way out, light in this increasingly dark tunnel. How can we do this? How can we find beauty and truth, even in this? How can we BE that beauty and truth, even in this?

Am I loving? Am I choosing to act like a walking, talking, breathing 1 Corinthians 13? (Now, if I say no to that, then there are different questions, I suppose. Or not. Maybe we are just deciding to use the tools of the enemy to fight back, following the same patterns that created such a mess. As King said, “Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”)

We can choose to love each other, no matter what. (And it’s the “no matter what” that is such a high, treacherous mountain to climb.)

And we can choose to bring the Good News, the one true Gospel of Jesus Christ, with every thought, word, and deed. Are our words (and posts) announcing freedom and sight? Are we pointing to the life He gives?

I sat in the stands last night at a basketball game at Lycoming college, thinking about everything that was happening. The boys (young men) using the gifts they have been divinely bestowed, the coaches teaching them, the service of the referees, and those of us in the bleachers all together in one giant mixing bowl. Was all of it loving? Was all of it praise, worship? Of course not…

But some of it was. And that’s what’s so cool and hopeful. We can change our present (there isn’t any changing our future – the tomb was empty and God wins), we can choose a new path. It just takes our submission. It just takes us taking our thoughts and actions and bringing them into (or at least closer to) His will. We can love, and we can drive out this hate. All it takes is everything, and it starts right now.

[That’s the end of the post, but Thursday is Thanksgiving and I wanted to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. I am truly grateful for you, in every way. I’m grateful you read these posts. I’m grateful to walk alongside of you, to build my pyramid scheme of love with you. – And one last thing, I said, “all it takes is everything,” right? I am fully grateful that the “everything” we are (and have) is from His strong, loving hands.

Ok, 1 last, last thing: When I think about His grace and mercy on my life, I think of my 2nd favorite children’s book, “Horton Hatches The Egg,” and how often the last line appears to have been written specifically for me. “And they sent him home happy, 100%” Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.]

A New Submission & Thoughts on It

I received a new submission to this blog, and I’ll share it in a minute (with my thoughts).

But first, I do want to tell you that I am still reeling, still taken apart by Sunday’s message on 1 Corinthians, chapter 13: the love chapter. The simple fact that it is a choice, a decision we consciously make, is overwhelming. When I act in an unloving way (impatient, unkind, easily angered, keeping score/record of wrongs, etc), for whatever reason, it is a rejection of Jesus’ role in my life, heart, hands, feet & behavior. – reading over that paragraph, it sounds jumbled and full of side comments, paths & parentheses. I’m not cleaning it up, because that’s exactly how I feel.

Now, the submission (from an anonymous author):

“Lee and Annette Woofenden indicate the possibility that a happily married couple, under certain conditions may be reunited in Paradise. In a message entitled, “Loving Jesus More Than Life” by John Piper, dated November 23, 2015, he refers to Matthew 10:37 “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me” and “Whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”

If our desire to enter Heaven is based on wanting to be reunited with a happily married spouse and that desire exceeds waning to enjoy the love of Jesus, we risk losing the thing we desire due to incorrect priority.

Jesus is aware of our love for a spouse. If we love Jesus foremost, He will provide a love relationship for a spouse or parent or child.”

I don’t know if you remember, a few months ago, we received another submission that was posted (September 22, 2025, “Til Death?”) on a similar subject. This one has a slightly different tone.

“Till Death?” details the unselfish, beautiful, covenantal marriage relationship that could (and that’s all we really have in our limited knowledge, isn’t it? a “could.”) endure forever and ever in paradise. Here, the thoughtful writer explores the “risk” of an “incorrect priority.” It is as if he goes down a path, then, satisfied, wonders if the path is the right path, ultimately deciding that whatever the path, the love of Jesus must be “foremost.” I don’t know, so this is only my imagination, but it seems like a person wrestling with the Scriptures and his/her place in them.

We can (and often do) read the Bible and, if it doesn’t agree with our opinions, we toss it aside. We want the Bible to submit to our will, instead of the other way around. Seemingly, this person isn’t content to leave a thread of faith, and his heart for God, unexplored. And if his faith & heart don’t line up, then he/she will take any level of demolition and reconstruction to make sure it does. It’s a beautiful picture of a marriage to a spouse, and even more so of a marriage to His/Her Creator/Savior.

I now see that’s what is ravaging me about this week’s love message. I don’t always want to act in a loving way. I want to be impatient, I want you to know what you did wrong and apologize. When you hurt me like this, I want you to change. I like the adrenaline of anger. I really, really like to be right. I lose hope. And I can give you a million reasons why, and for at least a hundred of them, you’d agree with me. You’d think I am justified in my un-love.

And this beautiful Bible… And the words, life, death, resurrection, and heart of Jesus, to all of my well-thought arguments, listens patiently, nodding along, validates my feelings, maybe He weeps at my broken heart & spirit (just like He did for Mary & Martha), but He hears me, really hears me, and then I imagine He looks me straight in the eyes HE created for me, and softly, tenderly, says, “Yeah, about that. You know how much I love you, but I don’t care about that at all. You’re going to love them anyway.”

He knows I will. I will choose Him, choose love. So I try. I mean, I will, eventually (because there is only “do or do not, there is no try”).

We don’t get it right today, or all the time, we just keep showing up – to Him, to each other, to ourselves. And as our anonymous author shows us, if we can just not give up, He leads us to the right answers.

Maybe The AI Is Reading My Mind

The app that hosts our website is called Jetpack, and every day, it gives a writing prompt. Apparently, in the virtual world, more (posting, words, videos, content, clicks, advertisements, etc) is always preferable. Sometimes, that’s true, but as I post once/week, I am probably not their ideal client. Today’s prompt is, “Do you need time?”

I only discovered this prompt when I opened my computer to write, and it’s often surprising how well these prompts connect to my intention. (Now that I think about it, I wonder if the prompt is universal, the same for every Jetpack creator, or if it’s uniquely generated for each user. Maybe its not a beautiful coincidence at all. Maybe it’s the AI reading my mind, or at least using my previous data in an algorithm to know what I’m thinking even before I do… Scary, but let’s move on anyway, we can talk about The Machines taking over another time.)

I meant to write about a mass email I got this week. It addressed the question, “Does AI make us dumber?” (Maybe we’re talking about The Machines now, after all.) And Mark Manson’s conclusion was, “What’s happening is the same thing that happens with every new revolutionary piece of technology – we stop exercising some mental muscles because the tool makes that particular task easier (citing miracles like GPS, calculators, and the internet)…The question isn’t: “Will AI ruin our brains?” The real question is: “What thinking do we still need to protect – and what are we better off outsourcing?””

Now, this is a topic we discuss a lot. What do we keep, what do we leave behind, and what is the cost of leaving those things behind? Where are we spending our time, and is that where we want to be spending our time? Are those answers in line with our values? Do we really need more time, or have we just mindlessly allowed the time we have to be sucked by the leeches we ignored? What thinking do we need to protect?

Last night, we had a dual in-person/virtual teaching at the church and online, and it reminded me of the Manson email. Before COVID, we (as a church and as a culture) had very few options for online connection, now we do, and what happened was that, before we knew it, we had allowed the technology to direct our lives, the tail began to wag the dog, and we replaced a life lived IRL with screens and message boards.

Last night was very cool, as a supplement. We integrate lots of ways to stay in touch, but the actual in-person community needs to be protected, it simply cannot be left behind. Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should. Jeff Goldblum’s character in Jurassic Park says, “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

My brother in law has been using an AI tool to turn his poetry into songs that sound like they could be on the radio today. It’s amazing. He asks it to, and it does. And it’s also not difficult to make the leap to what this could mean to the music industry, to the work of real humans playing real instruments. The truth of that creative expression desperately needs to be protected.

Facebook is such a wonderful space to follow people, groups and companies that are interesting to us AND it is a breeding ground for abysmally inhuman behavior. We have to constantly decide what kind of Facebook we want, what needs to be protected, and what needs to be relegated to the trash heap of history, tradition and/or pseudo-progress. Yes, we can, but now what? Will we?

My point is, maybe we will, maybe we should, but we have to be making those decisions. In every area of our lives.

I was watching a People’s Court case while I ate my breakfast today, and a woman was asked why she wasn’t paying her rent. I fully expected a shoulder shrug, and mumbled, “I don’t know,” but instead, she answered, “I had other bills I decided to pay first.” Maybe it was a bad decision, but it was totally hers. Her life wasn’t happening to her, she was living her life (at least this part of it) on purpose. And that’s really the opportunity for us, isn’t it? We’ve been given these lives by our Creator, now what? Will we simply squander our days, jobs, relationships, sleepwalking through the moments, dreaming of “more time,” or finally live the time we already have with purpose and intention? The choice is ours.

The Questions

It’s the questions, isn’t it? We study the Scriptures, words and contexts, digging deeper and deeper into the meanings and interpreting it however we interpret it. Then, hopefully, we can integrate the lessons and/or practices into our lives, and this integration invites us into new versions of ourselves. This is the beauty, opportunity, and responsibility of a sermon.

This week, we studied the example in Ecclesiastes of a person who has all the money and material wealth and can’t enjoy it. Admittedly, this is not a difficult jump to make from ancient wisdom literature to 2025 America, so the job of the teacher is fairly simple. (I find this to be the case with most of the Bible – we have not progressed or evolved nearly as far as we like to believe. The Israelites continued to relive the same loops through the Old Testament, and so do we.)

I think about this a lot. But on Monday mornings, I sit with my notebook, thinking about, in this case, what are my values, and are my answers consistent with my life? And then, where have I chosen a different #1, a different, inferior WHY to inform and animate my life? These are the nagging thorns in my mind that keep me up at night.

We can read verses and passages, close our Bibles, and remain unaffected. We can even commit these same verses to memory, without ever letting them make the giant leap from our heads to our hearts. But I find it’s these questions that create the bridges. They’re like keys that unlock closed doors. When was the last time we meditated on words written thousands of years ago? I would suggest (maybe I would hope) very recently. If we have ever been conflicted about the long hours at work that keep us from home, from our families, and have calculated the cost of our careers and hobbies, that is simply today’s form of the Jewish Talmud.

The Talmud (in probably offensively simple terms) is an extra-Biblical text where rabbis wrote about and commented on the Scriptures. Essentially, it was where they worked out what this meant for their lives, how it would/could be expressed in real life. We do this, too, every day. We just don’t have a cool name for our seeking.

Solomon details the meaninglessness of the idolatry of our stuff. And tv shows and blog posts ask us to stop to look at the hold our own things have on us. Whether we realize it or not, we’re diving into a practice that has existed as long as we have. What do we believe? Do we, really? And if that’s true, if we do actually believe that, what does that mean for our lives? It’s easy to see how vital this testament of faith & self-discovery can change every little part of our lives. And it should. Maybe the passive, detached distance we too often choose is the exception. And maybe the disruption we all feel is that this exception, being on the outside, just dipping our toes in, is no longer good enough.

Although

The note in my personal Bible, for the book of 2nd Chronicles, chapter 18, verse 1, reads, “Although Jehoshaphat was deeply committed to God, he arranged for his son to marry Athaliah, the daughter of wicked Ahab.” And as far as interesting, loaded sentences go, that’s pretty terrific.

The 2 kings mentioned were the leaders of the north and south kingdoms of, what was and would be, the nation of Israel. Jehoshaphat was a good, moral king, Ahab was not. In fact, Ahab was probably the worst of them all. But sometimes political interests are more important than religious, spiritual ones. (Obviously, we wouldn’t know anything about that, but just try to use your wildest imagination to put yourself in this ancient time.) Jehoshaphat followed the God of his ancestors, but even so, he decided this alliance was important/valuable/necessary/whatever word describes why & how we would ever rationalize shelving our principles for political viability and gain. I’ll choose “necessary,” because that is what I often hear as explanation for the ways we decide the words of Jesus just aren’t practical, here, now. So, this alliance was necessary to rebuild a powerful, re-connected Israel.

Of course, it didn’t go that way, wasn’t necessary at all.

I am not a king or a politician, so this doesn’t relate on a strictly apples to apples basis, but I do know very well about rationalization. And I do know the truth of the “although.”

Although I love Jesus, I can be really judgy, sometimes. Although I am absolutely clear on His commands to NOT judge, I can still choose to do it. Although I am deeply committed to my fitness and physical health, I often eat like a 6-year old. (I am the walking, talking, weightlifting illustration of the harsh truth, “you can’t out train a bad diet.” I wish you could. I would have the best abs.) I see other drivers on the road who have Jesus fish on their cars; although they love Jesus, so much that they’d advertise it on their bumpers, they have cut others off and raged behind the wheel. Although some pastors love Jesus and have given their careers to spreading the Gospel, they can deliver some of the most hurtful speech about others who are under His grace, just as they are. Although people love their spouses, they… You get the idea. How many ways do we live out the “althoughs?”

This is one of the very cool things about the Bible. We can’t relate at all to choosing politics over faith, but we can easily translate that into lots of other areas of our lives. It is timely – real people (Jehoshaphat, Athaliah), real times (hundreds of years B.C.), real places (Israel), and real tensions (arranged marriage between heirs, political maneuvering) – these things are specific to a time. We live in 2025 in a small town in Pennsylvania, our kids choose their own partners, we never get politics mixed up, never elevate it to an idol that would direct our steps with our friends and families.

But it is also timeless – the “althoughs” and the constant struggle in our hearts, decisions, and relationships between God and all of the other, lesser things that would take His place.

Who would guess that something Jehoshaphat did or said thousands of years ago, would have the ability to ask such vital questions of us? Isn’t it fascinating that Ahab and Athaliah have meaning in our careers and marriages, that 2 wicked characters would invite us into a deep dive into our own days and moments?

I have a book called God Is In This Place, and it dissects Genesis 28:16 (maybe I mentioned that verse before;), using 9 chapters to interpret it in 9 very different ways. It has crossed my mind to take a passage or verse, probably a parable of Jesus, and teach it several weeks in a row. The Bible is often compared to a diamond, with facets that change the look of the stone with each small turn.

There are so many perspectives of the life & rule of Jehoshaphat, but today, we’ll just be knocked out by the warning of his own “although,” and hopefully not make it our own.

No Why

Today’s site prompt is “what bothers you and why?” That’s pretty prescient of the AI prompt generator, because I opened my iPad to write about a thing that does, indeed, bother me.

First, you should know that lots of things bother me. I am bothered when people hog equipment at the gym, then don’t spray & wipe that equipment off afterwards, rudely leaving their disgusting germs all over for the rest of our immune systems to find off. It’s a wonder that we all don’t have a perpetual case of pinkeye. But what REALLY bothers me is when (usually the same) people leave their weights on the bars. Yes, that actually happens, can you believe it?!!? We live in a society, a fact that has managed to go unnoticed by these monsters. I’m bothered by a lack of spacial awareness in public, poor sports officiating, and the New York Giants, among many others.

The last paragraph was all mostly a joke. These things do bother me – probably a better word is annoy – but it’s a superficial wound, a paper cut that is forgotten immediately after the initial cut. I don’t really care too much, I’ve never had a day ruined by any of these trivialities. The problem is that we just don’t have enough words, sometimes. The “bother” of the least paragraph is not the “bother” of the next one.

In Acts 12, king Herod Agrippa “began to persecute” some believers of Jesus. The apostle James was “killed with a sword.” Then, when he “saw how much this pleased the Jewish leaders,” he captured and imprisoned Peter to do the same to him, in a very public fashion. That night, “an angel of the Lord” appeared and sprung him from his cell. It’s a cool story, with a cool scene of Peter showing up at the place where all of his buddies were praying for him, as they were praying for him. The prayer was answered immediately, spectacularly.

Hallelujah! …except for one thing. Why was Peter rescued and not James? We can talk and put forth all sorts of hypotheses, but the truth is that we have absolutely no idea. There is no why.

Why do terrible things happen to one and not another? Why is this happening to me? Why is this not happening to him/her? Maybe you remember the singer-songwriter we hosted, Olivia Farabaugh, who was miraculously healed from a chronic disease. I’m so thankful she was, but why do others still suffer with that same chronic disease? They may believe in healing and have faith that can move mountains, too. James believed.

John the Baptizer was sitting in jail, about to be murdered, and sent word to Jesus, asking if He was the One for whom they were waiting. He answers, yes, and blessed are those who don’t fall away because of Him. Essentially, John was asking IF He was the Messiah, and IF He was going to rescue him. John was His cousin, also His friend and witness. He’d been faithful his whole life and, with everything he thought & did, pointed to Jesus and His Kingdom. Yes, Jesus was the Messiah, and No, He would not be breaking him out of prison. Why? Only He knows?

We all have some deeply loved friends who are carrying more than anyone can handle, crying enough tears to drown the world. Why them? Why doesn’t God step in and help? Why does He do it for some and not others? Why didn’t He save James from that sword? I wonder how many burned up in the same furnace where Shadrach, Meshach, & Abednego were delivered. Why? Why is this happening to me, him, her, them?

There is no why. And that bothers me. My pride and driving need for control makes me want those answers. I want to understand. I want it to make sense to me. I want there to be a why, and I want to know what it is.

The other side of my own idolatrous coin is faith. There is a why, we just might not get it. We have to faith anyway, to trust anyway. We can certainly ask, He’s plenty big enough for our questions. But there always comes that point where, even if we don’t get the answers we want, or like, or that make sense, or any answers at all, we are faced with a decision; will we still trust that He is there, that He is good, and that we are still loved beyond reason or limit. What do we do then?

Maybe we’re James and get the bad thing, or maybe we’re Peter and get the good. Maybe they’re both blessings, and maybe it just depends on your perspective. Maybe we don’t ever know why. Maybe it’ll always bother us like crazy, but maybe we just continue to follow Him anyway.

Trouble

Listen to this verse (28) in 1 Kings 12: So on the advice of his counselors, the king made 2 gold calves. He said to the people, “It is too much trouble for you to worship in Jerusalem. O Israel, these are the gods who brought you out of Egypt!”

The king, in this passage is Jeroboam. Israel had split into 2 (north and south), after Solomon’s death, due to Solomon’s unfaithfulness and increasing transgressions. Jeroboam and 10 of the tribes, became the northern kingdom, while Rehoboam, Solomon’s son, formed the southern kingdom with the 2 remaining tribes. (The fact that Rehoboam – and Solomon’s line – got anything is due only to the mercy of God and His loyalty and love for David.)

Jeroboam’s fear was that his people would go south, to Jerusalem, for worship, and stay there, I guess. Or leave him and pledge themselves to Rehoboam? It’s just “too much trouble” to worship God, in His way, the way He’s prescribed. This guy, right? You can see the writing on the wall a million miles away. He’s choosing comfort and ease over anything & everything else. Can you believe that???

The thing that is so maddening about these Israelites is their propensity to live such destructive loops. They cry out, lean into God, God rescues, they turn away from Him, make a mess because of this idolatry, then cry out, move towards God, God rescues, they turn away from him, make a mess because of this idolatry, cry out, lean towards, God rescues, turn away, make a mess, and on and on and on. We read this and tear our hair out, exasperated, screaming, “Again!??! How many times do they have to do this??!!??” We’re right to do this, it is frustrating. And it’s confusing – why do they keep doing it? Why don’t the ever remember? Why do they keep getting bitten by the same animal, banging their heads against the same wall?

On a completely unrelated note, what I am learning about me is that I can sometimes have an amazing lack of self-awareness. When Nathan confronted David about his Bathsheba situation, he painted a picture of a “man” that sent David into a rage. He ranted at the “man’s” transgression, only to be told, “You ARE that man!!” I am just like David, sometimes.

Anyway, back to Jeroboam and the 2 calves…

Can you believe that guy, choosing convenience and power, moving in fear and self-protection instead of faith, trust, and obedience??? He’s a perfect illustration of the idolatry of these Israelites, who continue to be seduced by their own pride and self-reliance, or just to simply follow easy, wide paths in service of their own selfish pleasure.

It’s too much trouble to get out of bed to travel all that way to to the Temple. It’s too much trouble to follow God, to put Him before us, to put others before us. It’s too much trouble to confront our bad decisions, reflect, and learn. Faithfulness is too much trouble. It’s too much trouble to delay gratification. It’s way too much trouble to take our hands off the wheel and give up our imaginary sense of control. It’s just too much trouble.

I’m happy we’re not like them.