decisions

Details

The site (in it’s daily prompt) is asking about my approach to budgeting. Maybe this is interesting, maybe you’d like to know, maybe right now you are considering a budget to get a handle on your finances and think the universe directed you here for THE answer. If the universe directed you here, it was for a different reason, not budgeting principles; I’m actually not going to write about my approach to budgeting. However, budgeting certainly fits into what I opened my computer to discuss.

In last week’s message, we studied the parable of the soils. In this story, Jesus explained how we all receive messages or information, advice, correction, and on and on. It could be anything, really. But in this case, it’s the Gospel. We might not receive it at all. We might like it now, but the second the path gets hard, we abandon it. We might like it now, but get distracted by/in our pursuit of pleasure or comfort. And we might like it now and soak it up and end up completely transformed. The obvious question is, what kind of soil are we??? How do we encounter new ideas, especially the ones that are critical or outside of our current understanding? Do we hold a growth or fixed mindset? Do we already know everything there is to know? Are we always right?

Our world is overflowing with this fixed perspective. We fight like crazy to defend our right-ness and ignore any conflicting evidence. I suppose this is pretty natural. We get lost and try to find our worth in all sorts of counterfeits, and that leads us to hold & rabidly defend our positions because we’ve tied our worth to our production. If we’re not right, if we don’t have the answers, then what are we? We’re hard, bad, unfriendly soil.

SO, what this has to do with budgeting is in the details we build into our lives to open us up to new pathways. How we show up on a Sunday morning is often influenced by Saturday night or last week or this coming week. And how we show up to ourselves & each other is always set by our heart posture towards the world. What matters? If nothing does, then nothing does. If only some specific items matter, then we can easily give much much less (if anything at all) in the other spaces. But if everything matters, then every moment is holy and cracking with significance. Each conversation, interaction, book, show, meal, has the potential to give life.

What are our own details?

Maybe there aren’t any, and probably in that case, our lives testify to that lack. We are reactionary and chase whatever is here, now, and shiny. Where does our money go? If we aren’t choosing to be intentional (i.e. budgeting), then we’ll find we’re choosing to be poor stewards of these gifts. This principle works for time, energy, for everything you can think of.

The parable is so important (much more than I ever guessed) because everything else depends on the quality of our own, personal soil. And tilling that soil (with The Spirit) requires an attention to details, intentionality, and discipline. Yes, of course, we don’t like that, but if we remain poor soil, nothing new gets in – we stay voices of screaming rage in political message boards, never listening, never empathetic, never connecting – and stay the same people that we’ve always been.

How do you prepare to read, to pray, to eat? How do you come to the table or the gym? What does your desk look like? Do you have a routine/plan when you go to bed? It would be great if those answers didn’t display, or assign, value, but they do. And this parable leaves us with my favorite question: now what?

Yesterdays

Today is Monday, and yesterday, we studied a passage in Ecclesiastes that carried some really massive ideas. And those ideas asked some questions that we usually try our hardest to avoid. Obviously, Great Big Ideas with questions like sledgehammers aren’t reserved for Sundays, or for just yesterday. They can come & break the door down any of our yesterdays, if only we are open to receive – or as the Bible says, if we only have “ears to hear.”

Maybe we can talk politics and what it means to respect the authorities…or maybe we can talk about the times to not do that…maybe we can wonder if it’s principle or rebellion that drives us, or what our hearts are overflowing with, flowing out into the world, getting all over everyone and everything… But I don’t really want to, not here, not today.

What I do want to talk about, here, today, is about the 2 Gospels/gospels that are constantly vying for those same hearts. Because, probably, the one we choose dictates what actually overflows, what we are giving, what frequency we are emitting.

The first is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This is one of grace, forgiveness, kindness, goodness, gentleness, humility, faithfulness, that has one central tenet: love. Namaste means the image of the Divine in me sees and affirms and honors the image of the Divine in you. We see we are all made in the image of God, all fallen, all redeemed by His grace and love alone. (Of course, for as long as we need to, we can choose to not accept this gift.) We see each other as brothers and sisters, free of judgment and hate. We’re not all stepping on each other for a bigger piece of the pie – we recognize we don’t deserve any of the pie, and yet, His abundance is infinite, which means we can all have all the pie we want. Our winning isn’t based one another’s loss, we all win. We are grateful.

The gospel of me says that I am the center, I am better than you, my opinions, wants, & needs, are the primary concern for everyone. I demand assent. Maybe I will love you, if I want to, if there’s something in it for me. The divine in me sees you. The basic tenets are comfortability, pleasure, ease, temporal happiness (mine, not yours, unless yours happens to coincide with mine.) All of the -isms (racism, sexism, etc) exist here, because they all are based in the core belief: I am better than you. [We don’t acknowledge that this gospel is tied together with a dangerously thin line, because this arrogance is only superficial. It’s not grounded in confidence or esteem, it is insecure, fearful, overwhelmed with its own inadequacy. This is why, with this gospel’s worldview, I am so myopic – I worship a very small god. And I am mean & angry. I am very very angry.]

The very interesting thing about all of this, is that we have a choice. Deuteronomy says, “I set before you life or death, blessing or curse. Choose life.” Some see God as like the ocean we swim in, but I think this verse exposes the flaw in that metaphor. You see, the ocean doesn’t care if you drown, not even a little bit. It’s completely indifferent to your survival, much less your fulfillment or joy. With those 2 words: “Choose Life,” this God shows His heart. He wants us to swim. But we can, and do, choose…

We decide a million times a day, in every moment, which Gospel/gospel we choose – the Gospel of Jesus Christ or the gospel of me. The part that I don’t always like to admit is that we display that choice with our faces, words, posts, and lives, no matter what we might call it. Everybody can tell, usually the only one we’re fooling is ourselves.

So, what could it look like if we all swim? If we all chose to love each other, no matter what? If we chose to honor each other, and if we all just ate all the pie we ever wanted, at the same table, together? I’d really love to find out. I’ll go first.

A Romans 12 Season

My youngest son plays basketball in college, and they are in the early/middle parts of a complete culture change. For the last several years, the team has lost many more than they have won, and that can take a toll. They now believe that they will lose these games, that this is who they are. In 2 games last week, the team lost in the final minute to two of the top teams in the conference. In the sports world, this is what has historically been called “learning how to win.” It sounds like nonsense; a made-up concept bad teams invent to excuse a poor record.

But I don’t think it’s an excuse, and I don’t think it’s for bad teams.

I have a sometimes unhealthy relationship with food, and with my weight. I know the things to do, all of the principles of healthy eating, and I begin with the best intentions that can last for quite a while. Then, I make a poor decision or whatever, and the same tired, condescending voice rings in my ears (the same voice I’ve heard since junior high), telling me that this was bound to happen, this is who I am.

This happens in marriages (we try to reconnect, set a new focus), work (turn over a new leaf, change our mindset), in all areas of our personal lives (flossing, exercise, habits, reading, etc). We start to go to the gym – and we do…until we miss a day and are reminded by our own tired, condescending voices that we’re not that different, we’re still the same people we were yesterday. We believe we’ll lose these games.

It’s not that we can’t, it’s that we’ve lost our imagination to build new pathways in our minds.

Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” I’m not sure what the pattern of the world was, when Paul wrote it, but I’m pretty sure it’s despair today. This pattern says today is just like last week and last year, you are the same and you’ll never change, this is just who you are. My boy’s college team is just going to lose these games, thats how it is and how it will always be. You will always fail in your diet, in your Bible In A Year reading, whatever it is for each of us.

We need to learn how to win, or how Romans puts it, “be transformed by the renewing of [our] minds.” I may make poor decisions in the kitchen today, but that does not define me – I can have a healthy relationship with food. No matter what that voice says, it’s not hopeless and I am not hopeless. I am new, my mind just needs to catch up.

This team is in the middle of a Romans 12 season – and maybe so are we. Mine is food, but everyone’s is different. Everyone’s mind is renewed to various things, in various spaces. The constant is His faithfulness in our transformation. We are becoming new creations, with new identities. This doesn’t happen overnight, and usually (sadly) not in great big leaps. Mostly, it happens in baby steps, replacing that voice with Our Creator’s Voice, with the Truth, one heartbreaking game at a time.  

Choices

Today is our website’s 11 year Anniversary. I know this because the hosting site just wished me a Happy Anniversary. How many words have I written here in 11 years? Most of the early ones are the audio recordings of Sunday messages – I didn’t write much, then. Maybe I’ll go back and read my first blog post…I did, it’s called New Year’s Revolution, and I liked it. The way I see things changes, but my style of writing really doesn’t. Anyway, Happy Anniversary to the Bridge website!

This faith community has existed for 13 years and 6 months, and I have not missed 1 Sunday. (I suppose it’s possible that I’m wrong about that – you know, when you write or speak in public, you have to be careful because there are quite a few who are happy to point out mistakes. I’m not lying. I truly don’t think I missed 1.) My vacations are during the week, I spoke when I was sick & without a voice, for the past 13 years, you know precisely where I am at 10:30 on a Sunday morning. As far as that goes, since I fell in love with Jesus 27ish years ago, I would guess that I haven’t missed more than 10 services. It’s very important to me (18 year old Chad would be shocked & horrified to hear this. He’d probably be shocked and horrified at a lot of who he is at 50.)

I am 64% sure I’ll not be there this coming Sunday. But this is not a decision I’ve arrived at easily.

If I miss, it’ll be for a basketball game. All of my youngest son’s weekend games are on a Saturday, except for 1, this one, which is on a Sunday at 1 in the afternoon. The school is a couple of hours away, so I couldn’t do both. We all have choices, right? I teach often on the concept of weight: what weighs more to us? To reference Jesus, do we rest on the Sabbath or pull our donkey out of a hole (which is NOT rest, as commanded in the Law) on the Sabbath? What weighs more?

[Actually, I’m almost 99% sure now, because I now know how this post is going to end.]

I have a humongous problem with Sunday morning activities, including (especially) sports. Do we really have so little regard for church services, and spirituality in general, that we can’t keep even one morning sacred?? Of course, that answer is yes, sort of. Collectively, as a nation, we don’t have “so little regard,” we have NO regard. That’s why I often refer to the true religions of our culture as sports and politics, because they are.

So, on principle, I do not want to go. It is my rebellion against a culture without a clue.

A bigger reason I don’t miss is, very simply, I love the people in my church family. (Maybe calling it my family sounds a little cult-y, but that’s not my problem. Family is more than blood relation. You are my family, and I look forward to seeing and wrapping my arms around you.) I miss you when you’re not there, and I would miss you if I wasn’t there. So I choose to come and, that way, I don’t have to miss you.

Ok, why would I go, then? My son doesn’t live at home, I miss him, and I want him to look in the stands and always see his dad. (I think I told you, I want to be a person who is taken for granted, because he’s always there, always shows up, consistently is the same safe place. I’m not, but it’s who I want to become.) We have been blessed beyond reason to have the time raising him, I don’t want to miss a moment of it. This is a season, he won’t play basketball, he won’t be in college, forever, I want to soak it up.

It’s also beautiful to illustrate that it is our community, full of leadership and responsibility.

So, what weighs more? It’s very, very hard. Either way, I will think of, and miss, the other. If only I could do both. But it’s at 99%, why? The scales are pretty much even, why 99%? I’ll tell you (even though I’m not thrilled to admit this… I have this policy of oversharing and vulnerability, even when it makes me look, well, not awesome. Oh well, honesty, authenticity in/about my own transformation, weighs more to me than superficiality, so this is what we get: a very long post;)

I keep referencing how I have never missed a Sunday. Some of that is me apologizing and making pre-emptive rationalizations. But there isn’t any way around it, the bigger piece is a mixture of pride & shame (which don’t sound compatible, but usually arrive together.) I am proud of this, and I must think it reinforces my resume, somehow helps to make me ‘enough’ to have the honor of being a pastor of a community like this, and a minister of the Gospel.

This happens, sometimes, and when it does, I go back to the beginning and dismantle all arguments & lies that lead me away from the Truth: that I am already enough, that if this honor was based on my performance, pride, and perfection, I would have already had the privilege, the call, revoked. My pride has always been super silly. All of this is His. All I am is His. And I remember that by taking a wrecking ball to each false, hollow structure I have created, as I encounter it. This is one.

I’ll be at the game. Maybe it doesn’t actually weigh more, but what does weigh more, to me, is exposing the lies in my head, and choosing His Truth, choosing to come home to who He says I am, instead. I’ll miss you like crazy.

Worth It

Last week, inclement weather pushed us to cancel the Sunday morning service. This is never a decision I particularly enjoy making. I’d really like it to be very, very clear, either a sunny day or a foot of snow. But an inch or 2 of snow is that blurry in between. Probably everybody’s ok, we will come if we’re comfortable, we won’t if we aren’t. But only probably… What if something terrible happens? Then what? That isn’t my fault, but it would absolutely feel like it forever. If someone falls and breaks a hip or a wrist, that is my broken hip or wrist. A car accident is my car accident.

Emotions aren’t always rational.

It was cold and windy and slippery, and we stayed home. Live-streaming is something we began, along with everybody else, during COVID. It is a fine supplement, but a terrible substitute. I don’t really like it. However, in ugly weather (or illness or vacation), it is a way to stay connected. On the stream, I said, “it just isn’t worth it,” and, as I was saying it, I didn’t like how it sounded at all. Meeting together is one of the most important practices, one of the most important parts of the week, and a vital component of our physical & mental (as well as spiritual) health, and too often, it falls into the category of “if we have time and nothing else to do.” Maybe saying “it isn’t worth it,” gives an impression I don’t intend. But when measured against our lives, we’ll stay home, right?

We could’ve met. The roads weren’t as dangerous as they could have been – the townships do a good job of cleaning up. This always leads me to second guess the decision, we totally should have met. Those kind of “should’s” stay with me for a while, as they might for everyone, on a loop in my head. But not this one, and I’ll tell you why.

Just before 12, I got a text from a very great friend, wondering if we could talk on the phone. I would have missed this text on any other Sunday, but this time, I was able to say yes. For the next hour, we poured our hearts out, both of us in various states of the pain & exhilaration of seeking and finding, falling and rising. We had both been searching for God in the previous weeks, and He had either delivered in spectacular fashion, or He had not yet (or at all). The conversation was 100% depth, we did not mention the snow or sports scores.

I didn’t like making the decision, and I missed the time with you, missed the hugs and crackling energy of our worship. It’s exponentially better giving messages to faces than the camera on my phone. We show up because we are a community, and this sort of beautifully close knit only happens in person, side by side, holding hands and intertwining lives.

This is a relatively small, momentary obstacle. Usually, any obstacles carry the question, “Why?” Why is this happening? This isn’t supposed to be like this, so why is it? And usually, we don’t get an immediate answer (if at all). But sometimes, we do. It’s that moment that is interesting to me. What do we do, then? When we can see this connection happen, in real time, in close enough proximity that we simply cannot miss, then what?

I was grateful to meet my friend in such a sacred space, but it didn’t take me long, upon reflection, that I began to think about trust. If there is purpose here, there is probably purpose everywhere, everywhen. Maybe when we can’t see it, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. Maybe we just can’t see it, for whatever reason. And maybe, when the obstacles or hiccups or nuisances or catastrophes happen (and they certainly will) instead of panic or control or worry, my first instinct could be to open my eyes and look around in anticipation of the movement of God. I wonder what I’ll find if I’m actually awake & aware.

So, no, I didn’t like it, but it was really worth it.

Cancelled!!

Good morning everyone!

I have some bad news. We’ve decided to cancel this morning’s service. I’ll miss you like crazy. If you have to be out, please be careful, it’s awfully cold and slippery.

We will still livestream the message from my home at 10:30am, this morning, so we can still stay connected (sort of) and continue our study of Ecclesiastes.

Next Sunday is the beginning of our Christmas celebration, please try to make every effort to be there Sunday and, especially, Christmas Eve (service at 7pm) – bring all of your friends to worship with us!!

Love. Peace.

chad.

Meaning

In this Sunday’s service, we discussed a few thoughts from theologians, and one of them had this short sentence: “We rejoice in the meaning God has given us with this life on earth.”

It was interesting to find this commentary regarding a book of the Bible, where the primary refrain is, “Meaningless!” Everything the writer mentions is all meaningless. Everywhere he looks is meaningless. Each of the paths we travel in our lives is always meaningless. Then why, in the middle of all of this despair, can our study lead us to “rejoice in the meaning God has given us?”

Of course, the Teacher (Solomon) doesn’t really think all of life is meaningless. His work is designed to lead us exactly here. So, here we are, and that leaves us wondering about the meaning in our lives. Do we rejoice in the beauty and crackling energy in & around our lives? And, if we’re not, why?

Maybe it’s because we’re distracted and sleepwalking through our lives, right? Maybe we don’t take a second to recognize this meaning/purpose, and be grateful in it. Maybe our lives seem disjointed and random, like they’re happening to us, instead of actually living them with intention and passion. Maybe maybe maybe.

I could continue to list possible reasons to explain our restlessness, our disconnect, but there sure isn’t a one size fits all. They’re as different as we are, mine isn’t yours isn’t The Angel’s.

We each have a story to our lives, inside of the BIG Story. It’s this story that gives us our purpose and/or meaning. And as coincidence would have it, in one of the weekly mass emails I receive, Mark Manson writes, “When people ask, “What is my life purpose?” What they’re actually asking without realizing it is: “How can I use my time in a way that feels meaningful.” … You don’t find your purpose. You build your purpose, experiment by experiment, mistake by mistake.” Then, he asks, “What do you spend your time on that feels meaningful? How can you do more if it?”

What do you think of that? Do we build our purpose? And what does that say about our passivity? What about if we’re waiting for our purpose to knock down the doors of our lives and sit down in the middle of the room, demanding to be addressed? Maybe it isn’t coming.

Yes, God gives each of us meaning – our lives are inherently meaningful. We are unbelievably important, and we don’t have to look for evidence – our existence, the fact that He has created us in, by, and for love, is proof enough. But from there…

How are we spending our time? If our purpose is something that must be built, how are we doing with that??

This email sent me down a new, different, unexpected path, but it’s certainly related. Maybe our joy comes from the pieces of our lives, chosen intentionally, and the way we order them, under Divine guidance. When you spend your time meaningfully, there is a natural joy in that, isn’t there? Maybe all of this, maybe all of creation, is inviting us into that, saying, “do more of that,” and asking us to really enjoy it.

I usually don’t end posts like this, but I am truly asking you, “what is that thing for you?” Tell me – call, email, text, comment, etc – just tell me. Nothing in this life was meant to be done alone (it is “not good”), and this is no different. Maybe meaning and purpose is something that is meant to be pursued and discovered (revealed?) in some dynamic combination of alone & together. So, how about we try that?

A New Thought

I read a New Testament passage and an Old Testament passage every day. It’s study, but not really specifically for any sermons, mostly just for me. Sometimes, it turns into something more. Other times, I just copy verses in my notebook and maybe write any thoughts I might have on them. I’m in 1 Corinthians and Isaiah, now.

Today, Isaiah 61:1-2 read, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, He has appointed me to bring Good News to the poor, comfort the broken-hearted…announce that the captives will be released, the prisoners will be freed, and the blind will see…He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.“

This sounds familiar because it appears again in Luke 4, where Jesus (at the beginning of His earthly ministry) goes into a Synagogue, unrolls a scroll, and reads this passage. It’s a goosebumps moment. Imagine if you were there, and this is happening in front of you, that a man comes as a teacher, and reads from a book you have known, about prophesies you have been waiting to see fulfilled, and makes the “me” about Himself. We have the benefit of hindsight, we know what is happening, what will happen, and most importantly, who He is. But imagine if we didn’t. Imagine if it was only a possibility. Could this be the One we’ve been waiting for?

Anyway, I love these kinds of moments. But today, I’m seeing this passage in a new way, connected to the path we’ve been on.

Sunday, we talked about 1 Corinthians 13 (incidentally, not where I am currently in 1 Corinthians – I’ll get there soon) as a statement on what it looks like to live & move through our lives as Jesus followers, in love (patiently, kindly, etc). This is a new branch of the same tree to be included in our self-examination.

We are called to bring the Good News – are we? To comfort the brokenhearted – are we? To announce that the captives will be released, the prisoners will be freed, that the blind will see – are we? To testify that the day of the Lord’s favor has come – are we? We are to do all of these with our hearts and bodies, as well as our mouths.

So, I know this is a 2nd post in as many days, but living an awake/aware existence today, here & now, leaves us in a peculiar position. We are saddened, broken daily with the behavior of our brothers and sisters, as well as our own. We feel powerless to change. And it is too easy to get caught up in this downward spiral of vitriol and violence. We need a way out, light in this increasingly dark tunnel. How can we do this? How can we find beauty and truth, even in this? How can we BE that beauty and truth, even in this?

Am I loving? Am I choosing to act like a walking, talking, breathing 1 Corinthians 13? (Now, if I say no to that, then there are different questions, I suppose. Or not. Maybe we are just deciding to use the tools of the enemy to fight back, following the same patterns that created such a mess. As King said, “Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”)

We can choose to love each other, no matter what. (And it’s the “no matter what” that is such a high, treacherous mountain to climb.)

And we can choose to bring the Good News, the one true Gospel of Jesus Christ, with every thought, word, and deed. Are our words (and posts) announcing freedom and sight? Are we pointing to the life He gives?

I sat in the stands last night at a basketball game at Lycoming college, thinking about everything that was happening. The boys (young men) using the gifts they have been divinely bestowed, the coaches teaching them, the service of the referees, and those of us in the bleachers all together in one giant mixing bowl. Was all of it loving? Was all of it praise, worship? Of course not…

But some of it was. And that’s what’s so cool and hopeful. We can change our present (there isn’t any changing our future – the tomb was empty and God wins), we can choose a new path. It just takes our submission. It just takes us taking our thoughts and actions and bringing them into (or at least closer to) His will. We can love, and we can drive out this hate. All it takes is everything, and it starts right now.

[That’s the end of the post, but Thursday is Thanksgiving and I wanted to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. I am truly grateful for you, in every way. I’m grateful you read these posts. I’m grateful to walk alongside of you, to build my pyramid scheme of love with you. – And one last thing, I said, “all it takes is everything,” right? I am fully grateful that the “everything” we are (and have) is from His strong, loving hands.

Ok, 1 last, last thing: When I think about His grace and mercy on my life, I think of my 2nd favorite children’s book, “Horton Hatches The Egg,” and how often the last line appears to have been written specifically for me. “And they sent him home happy, 100%” Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.]

A New Submission & Thoughts on It

I received a new submission to this blog, and I’ll share it in a minute (with my thoughts).

But first, I do want to tell you that I am still reeling, still taken apart by Sunday’s message on 1 Corinthians, chapter 13: the love chapter. The simple fact that it is a choice, a decision we consciously make, is overwhelming. When I act in an unloving way (impatient, unkind, easily angered, keeping score/record of wrongs, etc), for whatever reason, it is a rejection of Jesus’ role in my life, heart, hands, feet & behavior. – reading over that paragraph, it sounds jumbled and full of side comments, paths & parentheses. I’m not cleaning it up, because that’s exactly how I feel.

Now, the submission (from an anonymous author):

“Lee and Annette Woofenden indicate the possibility that a happily married couple, under certain conditions may be reunited in Paradise. In a message entitled, “Loving Jesus More Than Life” by John Piper, dated November 23, 2015, he refers to Matthew 10:37 “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me” and “Whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”

If our desire to enter Heaven is based on wanting to be reunited with a happily married spouse and that desire exceeds waning to enjoy the love of Jesus, we risk losing the thing we desire due to incorrect priority.

Jesus is aware of our love for a spouse. If we love Jesus foremost, He will provide a love relationship for a spouse or parent or child.”

I don’t know if you remember, a few months ago, we received another submission that was posted (September 22, 2025, “Til Death?”) on a similar subject. This one has a slightly different tone.

“Till Death?” details the unselfish, beautiful, covenantal marriage relationship that could (and that’s all we really have in our limited knowledge, isn’t it? a “could.”) endure forever and ever in paradise. Here, the thoughtful writer explores the “risk” of an “incorrect priority.” It is as if he goes down a path, then, satisfied, wonders if the path is the right path, ultimately deciding that whatever the path, the love of Jesus must be “foremost.” I don’t know, so this is only my imagination, but it seems like a person wrestling with the Scriptures and his/her place in them.

We can (and often do) read the Bible and, if it doesn’t agree with our opinions, we toss it aside. We want the Bible to submit to our will, instead of the other way around. Seemingly, this person isn’t content to leave a thread of faith, and his heart for God, unexplored. And if his faith & heart don’t line up, then he/she will take any level of demolition and reconstruction to make sure it does. It’s a beautiful picture of a marriage to a spouse, and even more so of a marriage to His/Her Creator/Savior.

I now see that’s what is ravaging me about this week’s love message. I don’t always want to act in a loving way. I want to be impatient, I want you to know what you did wrong and apologize. When you hurt me like this, I want you to change. I like the adrenaline of anger. I really, really like to be right. I lose hope. And I can give you a million reasons why, and for at least a hundred of them, you’d agree with me. You’d think I am justified in my un-love.

And this beautiful Bible… And the words, life, death, resurrection, and heart of Jesus, to all of my well-thought arguments, listens patiently, nodding along, validates my feelings, maybe He weeps at my broken heart & spirit (just like He did for Mary & Martha), but He hears me, really hears me, and then I imagine He looks me straight in the eyes HE created for me, and softly, tenderly, says, “Yeah, about that. You know how much I love you, but I don’t care about that at all. You’re going to love them anyway.”

He knows I will. I will choose Him, choose love. So I try. I mean, I will, eventually (because there is only “do or do not, there is no try”).

We don’t get it right today, or all the time, we just keep showing up – to Him, to each other, to ourselves. And as our anonymous author shows us, if we can just not give up, He leads us to the right answers.

Maybe The AI Is Reading My Mind

The app that hosts our website is called Jetpack, and every day, it gives a writing prompt. Apparently, in the virtual world, more (posting, words, videos, content, clicks, advertisements, etc) is always preferable. Sometimes, that’s true, but as I post once/week, I am probably not their ideal client. Today’s prompt is, “Do you need time?”

I only discovered this prompt when I opened my computer to write, and it’s often surprising how well these prompts connect to my intention. (Now that I think about it, I wonder if the prompt is universal, the same for every Jetpack creator, or if it’s uniquely generated for each user. Maybe its not a beautiful coincidence at all. Maybe it’s the AI reading my mind, or at least using my previous data in an algorithm to know what I’m thinking even before I do… Scary, but let’s move on anyway, we can talk about The Machines taking over another time.)

I meant to write about a mass email I got this week. It addressed the question, “Does AI make us dumber?” (Maybe we’re talking about The Machines now, after all.) And Mark Manson’s conclusion was, “What’s happening is the same thing that happens with every new revolutionary piece of technology – we stop exercising some mental muscles because the tool makes that particular task easier (citing miracles like GPS, calculators, and the internet)…The question isn’t: “Will AI ruin our brains?” The real question is: “What thinking do we still need to protect – and what are we better off outsourcing?””

Now, this is a topic we discuss a lot. What do we keep, what do we leave behind, and what is the cost of leaving those things behind? Where are we spending our time, and is that where we want to be spending our time? Are those answers in line with our values? Do we really need more time, or have we just mindlessly allowed the time we have to be sucked by the leeches we ignored? What thinking do we need to protect?

Last night, we had a dual in-person/virtual teaching at the church and online, and it reminded me of the Manson email. Before COVID, we (as a church and as a culture) had very few options for online connection, now we do, and what happened was that, before we knew it, we had allowed the technology to direct our lives, the tail began to wag the dog, and we replaced a life lived IRL with screens and message boards.

Last night was very cool, as a supplement. We integrate lots of ways to stay in touch, but the actual in-person community needs to be protected, it simply cannot be left behind. Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should. Jeff Goldblum’s character in Jurassic Park says, “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

My brother in law has been using an AI tool to turn his poetry into songs that sound like they could be on the radio today. It’s amazing. He asks it to, and it does. And it’s also not difficult to make the leap to what this could mean to the music industry, to the work of real humans playing real instruments. The truth of that creative expression desperately needs to be protected.

Facebook is such a wonderful space to follow people, groups and companies that are interesting to us AND it is a breeding ground for abysmally inhuman behavior. We have to constantly decide what kind of Facebook we want, what needs to be protected, and what needs to be relegated to the trash heap of history, tradition and/or pseudo-progress. Yes, we can, but now what? Will we?

My point is, maybe we will, maybe we should, but we have to be making those decisions. In every area of our lives.

I was watching a People’s Court case while I ate my breakfast today, and a woman was asked why she wasn’t paying her rent. I fully expected a shoulder shrug, and mumbled, “I don’t know,” but instead, she answered, “I had other bills I decided to pay first.” Maybe it was a bad decision, but it was totally hers. Her life wasn’t happening to her, she was living her life (at least this part of it) on purpose. And that’s really the opportunity for us, isn’t it? We’ve been given these lives by our Creator, now what? Will we simply squander our days, jobs, relationships, sleepwalking through the moments, dreaming of “more time,” or finally live the time we already have with purpose and intention? The choice is ours.