Audios

Something Everyone Should Know

The website that supports our Bridge website has a writing prompt. They want me to post everyday, I don’t know exactly why. I mean, I’m sure it has to do with advertising revenue, but how much are they getting from the Bridge Faith Community and it’s visitors? Maybe it’s significant. Who knows how these things are structured? Anyway, the site prompt for today is, “What’s something you believe everyone should know?” and that will go very nicely with what I opened this computer to write about today.

My youngest son recently committed to a college. It was a process that felt long, with lots of twists and turns (but as I have no reference point, maybe it was short and easy – this is a relative thing). One college, Drew University, took an early lead and mostly had him locked up. They had programs – 1 in particular – that he loved with wchich no other school could really compete. So, they had him. We bought some t-shirts with the Drew ranger on it, and assumed he’d go to northern New Jersey in the fall.

But in one month, their incompetence or indifference gave him pause enough to look closer at other schools and other, overlooked characteristics of Drew (none of which were terribly good). As they fell, Lycoming College grew. Then, one Friday and Saturday, we scheduled visits with admissions, 2nd tours, and basketball practice with each institution.

Lycoming was Friday, and as we pulled into the parking lot, the basketball coach was standing outside. He greeted us warmly and was our guide for the day. We ate together, attended meetings with the business professor and admissions counselor together, toured together, and attended practice together. Throughout the day, current basketball players met him with an obvious excitement, as did the administrative assistants, professors, and counselors not assigned to him. Everyone knew his name and pronounced it correctly. This is no small thing, the doctor’s office where he has been seen since birth still can’t work that out. Admissions gave him a folder with his acceptance and scholarship information, everyone stopped to congratulate him. The basketball presentation had his name & picture and where he’d fit in the program. We spent the whole day and, when we left, later than expected, the coach asked us to text him when we got home.

The next day, the Angel and my boy drove to Drew, for what we expected would be the same sort of treatment. I stayed home for a wedding and waited by the phone to hear the second half of the competition. Their admissions appointment began at 8:45am, and they called me before 9. He was given the same kind of folder and sent on his way. No tour, no personal meetings, no warmth. Just instructions to walk around and…whatever, until basketball practice began in the afternoon. Instead, they got in the car and came home, decision made.

If a man or woman treats you poorly before you are married, do you think it’ll get better afterwards???

Now, let’s return to the site prompt. The entire Lycoming College experience was designed to make my son feel valued. To them, he was worth their time, energy, and money. In the huddle as basketball practice began, the coach reminded them team that he was there, and to show him what they are about, their identity. Everyone in the entire school must have had the same meeting in the morning.

He called Drew to ask for a class list in his major and they did it, but gave him the information in the wrong major. It’s the little things that aren’t little at all.

What I believe everyone should know is that they are valued, accepted, and worth the time, energy, and money. I want them (us) to know they’re here for a reason, created in, by, and for love. I want us to know we’re not a mistake and certainly not the trash. Instead, we are wonderfully made and children of the Creator of the Universe.

Drew treated my son as if he were just another name, another number. As if he’d be lucky to be mistreated by them. They’re wrong. How many times have we settled for this sort of disrespect? How many times have we believed the lies – in words or actions – that we are expendable, ordinary (at best) and worthless (at worst)?

Everybody should feel how Lycoming made my son feel, should know they are wanted. And, I’m more and more convinced that it’s our business, wherever we are, to make sure they do.

2 Things For This Week

Last week, we spoke about honor – what it is and how we do it. Both of these were surprisingly difficult. Many times, we use words that we cant exactly define. I think religion is full of these kinds of words. We’ve seen them enough to be able to pronounce them and use them correctly in sentences. “Honor” is easy enough to write sermons around, but becomes substantially more difficult if you carry it out just one more question, the dreaded, “what does that actually mean?”

Love is another. What does it mean to love your neighbor, or your enemy, your friends, parents, other drivers? For that matter, what does it actually mean to love your spouse??? We don’t ask, because it exposes us and we don’t like to sound like we don’t have everything together, especially if we don’t. As it turns out, maybe we’d all be exposed, if one of us would simply give voice to our vulnerability.

Anyway. What does it mean to honor someone? Better yet, what does it look like? I think it looks like listening. Asking questions. Saying something wonderful. Encouraging. Speaking truth. Trusting. Going first. Letting them go first. (I know they are direct opposites, but that doesn’t bother me and it shouldn’t bother you. It depends on the time and place. Sometimes, you can go first. Sometimes, I should. Not everything is strictly black and white, it’s a beautiful exploding gray.) And what does it look like to honor ourselves?

I asked these same questions Sunday, and I’m asking again, because the answers are different for all of us, and the only way we can find out how we can honor each other is if we ask, seek, & knock. Of course, it’s hard, and we don’t want to. We want to be honored, but to do the honoring is a different story altogether. But it doesn’t really matter if we want to or not, our communities and our world depends on if we show up to each other with love, and with honor.

The second thing I want to talk about is our Very Cool Thing Saturday. We’ll have a, well, what is essentially a party, a big rad shin-dig. At 6:30 I’ll talk about my book (Be Very Careful Who You Marry), then Olivia Farabaugh (Oliviafarabaugh.com) will play us in, then I’ll talk about Star Wars and the Resurrection and how that can change everything around 7, then after that she’ll play her songs and give her story, and we’ll leave around 9ish. She’s really extraordinary, in all sorts of ways, and you’ll love her.

Now, as far as our community goes, this was the idea from the beginning. We would create a place for artists (of any discipline) to express themselves in public, and in doing that, we would go to any/all lengths to affirm their divine spark, their identity in the image of a wildly creative God. And we would show up, and in that, we would affirm our Genesis 1 & 2 bend to be together, according to our design. What that means is that we would be together because it’s how we’ve been designed to be.

We would show up and welcome guests and love them, without regard to any label or imaginary division, and without reserve. It would be an opportunity to show the love of Jesus because that’s what we’ve been designed to do.

So, my second thing here is to invite you to come out to love and be loved. To come out to welcome Olivia and to be welcomed by Olivia. To hear how Luke Skywalker’s training on Degobah relates to our marriages, and to buy my book (ha!!). To meet my nephew’s girlfriends. But mostly, it’s really a chance to lean into our wonderful creation and be grateful, and I think we could all use more chances for that.

It’s Saturday at 6:30 at the Bridge, and it’ll be Very Cool, but it would be even more so if you’re there.

Go First

Last Sunday, we recklessly dove into the deepest of water, discussing who goes first, in our closest relationships. (Maybe more than only our closest relationships.) Who loves first? Who honors first? Who respects first? Who submits first? Sure, it’s uncomfortable, because we really like when they do, but when we both wait for the other, then what?

The Bible has these passages on “household codes,” where we have some clear direction on how to deal with each other, creating healthy soil for beautiful marriages (etc) to grow. Quickly and easily, the answer is “I do,” no matter who is the “I” and who is the “you.” I imagine everyone there in Sunday is feeling a certain type of way, because it took me almost an hour to get to that last short sentence. But maybe the certain type of way is elated, maybe they hang on every word and wish it wasn’t over so soon, no matter how long it is?

Anyway. I wanted to write about this today. It is Wednesday, so there have surely been loads of opportunities to practice. Probably, Sunday afternoon gave plenty of chances to swallow our pride and step out and lean in.

Maybe you were thinking about that friend who never calls…and called her? Or maybe he didn’t do those dishes…so you did? Maybe you had a chance to withhold your affection to teach that husband of yours an important lesson… but didn’t? Maybe she was supposed to say how sorry she is and how right you are, but hasn’t yet, and now you’re faced with a sore backside and a choice… which you used to lay the offense down and move forward?

Or maybe, like my son, you took the opportunity to excuse your own behavior by quoting 1 Corinthians 13, “love keeps no record of wrongs.” Hahaha. The Bible comes in handy in many different ways, doesn’t it? If we know enough verses and are willing to disregard context, we can justify almost anything.

So, how did it go? Were you able to give some solid words of affirmation even though she hasn’t gotten you even the smallest, most insignificant, gift?? (I know, I know, no gift is small and insignificant for someone who speaks the love language of gifts, but you get the point.) Were you able to kiss her even though she hasn’t played a game or watched a movie with you in months??

This post could be called Even Though. We choose to _____ even though ______ . I’ll make dinner tonight for a crew who may not like it, may not appreciate what I’ve done, may not say thanks or clean up afterwards. Probably you will, too. Maybe you won’t want to, maybe you’ll seriously think about leaving dinner unmade, ingredients still in the fridge and cupboard. And we’ll all have a choice. Will we do it even though? Will we go first? Or will we dig in until someone recognizes my obvious high ground?

We were away on a 3 day vacation, and we all had many chances to plant ourselves in our high ground. But I think, the truth is, we all separately realized just how rare and fleeting these moments together are, and decided that missing them was just too high of a cost. Hopefully the next step for me is to realize just how rare and fleeting all moments are, and not miss any more in service of my own fragile ego, and plant something fresh and new in the ‘high’ ground.

Decisions, Decisions

I think, if I had to pick one sentence from yesterday’s message that was the hardest to say, and to hear, it would be: “If he chooses to honor her, if she chooses to honor him…” Whatever comes next, those words are so charged with meaning and possibility. What if he did? What if she did? Then what?

I also wanted to share what I heard in a video on Instagram. An interviewer asked a woman if she was married, and she said yes. At this point, it was very light, she was smiley and easy-going. He then asked her if HE was happy. “Is he happy?” This was surprising, to her, and to me. She restated the question, making sure that she heard correctly, then said, “I thought you’d ask me if I was happy.” He said he wanted to care for him, too. I know, right!??! The mood between them changed, as if he attacked her. She became silent and sullen, finally saying, “**** you,” which I guess, answered the question without answering the question.

I wonder what we’d say if we were asked the same question about our relationships. More than just our marriages, would our friends say they’re happy and valued in our company? Do they feel important, heard, cared for, by us? How about our children? Just to be sure, I told the Angel, if anyone ever asked her, that yes, I was awfully happy. She told me she was, too.

If you had the courage to ask your husband/wife if he/she was happy, what would he/she say? Do you know the answer? Would they tell you the truth? How would you react if the answer was no? Would you be offended, would you pout and make them feel like they shouldn’t have answered so honestly? Would you respond the way that woman in the video did?

Of course, I want all of us to say “Yes,” but I am fully aware that many of us would not. In that case, would the answer change IF he chooses to honor her, IF she chooses to honor him?

One last observation. What is the only requirement to changing the environment between us? Or our environment anywhere? Our choice to act. If we knew we could change the space in our homes with one choice, would we make that decision? Would we stop keeping score, cutting with our words, detaching, punishing each other with our tones or disconnection? Would we speak positively, encourage, and support each other?

And, apparently, what I meant was 2 more observations. The 2nd is…what would our lives look like IF we chose to honor ourselves? Maybe that’s an even bigger ask. We often speak to us in a more destructive manner than we would ever speak to another. We commit such acts of violence towards ourselves, whether it is staying in abusive relationships, acting as if we are absolutely worthless in countless ways.

…And all (I say “all” fully knowing it’s a Herculean “all”) it takes is a choice. And then another, and another, and another. Until everything is different, a whole new creation.

Fall

My birthday has me reflecting on my own life, who and where I am, in a manner usually connected to New Years. Then, as I shared this with a very good friend, he said that he always gets pretty introspective in the fall. At the time, I didn’t see the obvious connection – of course, the fall is a natural time to turn our thoughts to transformation. Step outside and the evidence is all around us, every single thing is changing, the things that were one way now are becoming something new.

In my inbox today, I opened a corporate mass email that spoke about this very thing, called. “Falling Into Change: How to Embrace the Transformation of Seasons.” It read, “As we wave goodbye to summer and welcome the cool embrace of autumn, it’s the perfect time to reflect on the natural changes around us. The leaves aren’t the only things transforming—this season offers a chance to embrace personal growth and transformation, too…It’s a season that naturally invites reflection and renewal. While the trees shed their leaves, you can think of this time as shedding old habits, mindsets, or routines that no longer serve you…Fun Fact: Fall, also known as the autumnal equinox, marks a time of balance—equal daylight and night hours. This balance can inspire us to find equilibrium in our own lives. Maybe it’s time to balance work and play, or focus on both mental and physical wellness…Sometimes we have to let go of what was to make room for what will be. So, what can we learn from the trees?

1. Letting Go is Natural: Trees don’t cling to their leaves, they gracefully release them to make way for new growth. Take a page from nature’s book and release what’s holding you back—whether that’s fear, doubt, or even old habits. 2. Change Can Be Beautiful: Just like the vibrant fall foliage, transformation is beautiful. It’s easy to resist change, but when we allow ourselves to evolve, we often discover new and vibrant aspects of ourselves. 3. Growth Requires Patience: Just like nature doesn’t rush its transformation, you don’t have to either. Give yourself the grace to grow at your own pace this season.”

Now, some suggestions they give, which are quite helpful: “1. Set New Intentions: Fall is a perfect time for setting fresh goals. Whether it’s prioritizing your health, starting a new hobby, or simply adopting a more positive mindset, set small, achievable goals that align with the transformation you seek. 2. Declutter Your Space & Mind: Just as nature sheds, fall is a great time to declutter. Whether it’s your home, your schedule, or your mind, clearing out the unnecessary gives you space to grow. 3. Practice Gratitude: With Thanksgiving around the corner, gratitude is at the heart of the fall season. Reflect on what you’re thankful for and how those things have shaped your journey this year. 4. Embrace New Experiences: As the season changes, why not try something new? Whether it’s exploring a fall-themed activity like hiking, picking apples, or sipping on a new favorite warm drink, stepping out of your routine can ignite transformation.”

These are really great, right? These business blasts we mostly relegate to our “Junk” or “Spam” folder can be helpful, in the right context. I’m sharing them here for a few reasons. Transformation, Growth, Intention, and Gratitude clearly point to a Christian perspective. We check in to our own lives, show up with all of us, honestly, and evaluate where we are, what we’re doing and if those things are actually healthy and helping us. Then we seek Him, hold His hand as He leads us into a brand new life.

(Maybe next time, I’ll tell you about where my own journey, where the questions I’m asking, are leading me. Not today, though.)

We ask all of these questions on Sundays. The Bible asks these questions in nearly every verse, most often in the form of “Here’s the Truth, now what will you do with that????” Will we lean into our divine calling, or will we continue to hold with white knuckles to the lifestyle that may not serve us well anymore, maybe never has, or is actively destroying us?

All Truth is ours, we simply have to keep our minds and eyes open to see and claim it wherever we find it, even in our daily emails. There is a “however,” though. Not everything is Truth, not everyone is concerned with our finding life, and as we transform, we are learning to test what we encounter. This email is awesome, and it ends with, “Fall Into New Arrivals. Speaking of transformations, our Anniversary Collection is filled with fall-inspired designs to celebrate change in style. From natural earthstone bracelets to golden jewelry that shines as brightly as the autumn sun, our new arrivals are the perfect way to reflect the beauty of this season.”

There is Truth, but it is an advertisement, ultimately pointing to our cultural duty as consumers. That doesn’t mean it’s all meaningless, we don’t have to throw it all out with the bathwater because it’s got an agenda, it just means we need to learn to sift and sort. This makes me think of the Belt of Truth, which we are coincidentally discussing in our study of Ephesians. You can see, when our hearts, minds, and bodies are all awake and aware, we can (and probably will) find God weaving everything into the most beautiful tapestry of His grace for us.

What Will We Choose?

Sunday’s message was about one thing, but it certainly felt like a far bigger bridge to cross. We were talking about the words submission & love in the context of Ephesians 5, in a conversation about our marriage relationships, but so much of it felt like a message on the power of the tongue. The way we speak to each other has the power to build, and it also has the power to absolutely demolish.

Of course, this isn’t just the words we use. There’s a lot more to communication than what would be written on a transcript. There is our posture, non-verbal cues, expressions, body language. When I give these Sunday morning talks, it’s pretty easy to know what everybody thinks based simply on how they are sitting in the pews. A person leaning back with folded arms is having a very different experience than one who leans forward with wide, open eyes. And then, there are the ones who nod off – that’s something else altogether, with little to do with the content. Some scrunch up their faces, some smile, some physically turn their bodies away from me, some write (and it’s obvious if what they’re writing is about the message or funny notes to the one sitting next to them) and others are just patiently waiting for me to finish (and others not so patiently).

This hasn’t even touched on the heart postures we hold toward each other to affect the space between us. Brene Brown wrote a brilliant reference book, labeling & defining our emotions so we have the words to communicate what we are feeling effectively. Usually, we use 3 descriptions: happy, sad, mad. That’s it. But that isn’t nearly enough to adequately convey our current mental/emotional states.

She has a chapter called “Places we go when we feel wronged,” and lists “anger, contempt, disgust, dehumanization, hate, self-righteousness.” We know these are not the same feelings, but we’d often just say ‘mad.’ Contempt is not anger. Brown cites researchers that call contempt “perhaps the most corrosive force in a marriage,” and a “strong predictor of divorce.” My guess is that we didn’t need researchers to tell us that. We have seen the look of contempt, and when we see it in a relationship across the table, we know very well how far past the edge it has gotten and now can only helplessly wait for the official end.

Paul uses submission, respect, honor, and a million others in his letters, but they’re all really just love. These words are all choices. We choose to submit, respect…or to carry the wrecking ball of contempt. Like so much of the Bible, we are left with a BIG decision: What will we choose? Will we choose to heal or to cut further? Will we choose to set down the record of wrongs or put them under our pillows in bed? We have a lot more agency in this than we believe, we do have the power to write new chapters and create new worlds (we are made in the image of our God, and have His Spirit living in us, after all), if only we have the imagination to dream this new story.

Be Careful

I think the passage we discussed Sunday, from Ephesians 5, is a pretty perfect illustration of how cool – and vital – the Bible really is. Paul begins with an exhortation to “be careful” how we live, then writes about fools, the time, and drunkenness.

The fools he talks about are real people (of course, they are real people) in his culture who do the things they do as if there are no consequence to anything. They live wildly, as if everything is random and unconnected, and they are wrong. (And when I say “they,” we all know I mean “we.”)

They are wrong because of the idea he next gives: the time. This is not time, like clocks and appointments. This is time, like opportunity. We have time, and that’s short and fairly fixed. The time is big, awesome, malleable and able to be grabbed and held onto, OR, lost to insignificance. We all have 60 seconds/minute, 60 minutes/hour. We all have the time, as well, to see as we choose.

Then he moves, with 1 verse, to the word drunkenness. To be honest, it sticks out. This isn’t a word in the middle of a list of do’s and don’t’s. It’s just one isolated don’t in a passage about the time, and how we live. Yes, drunkenness is a part of how we live, but why would he choose only that one above all of the other ways we take wrecking balls to our own lives? Depending on the translation, drunkenness is “debauchery,” “dissipation,” or the one I just read and hadn’t heard before, “rebellion.” All of these fall mostly flat. The word he actually uses is “asotia.” Drunkenness is asotia. That means, in a sentence, when our behavior (obviously, this is bigger than simply having too much to drink, it can be anything) causes us to waste the opportunity, the time, we have.

And that can help us tie it all together. When our wild, maniacal, foolish behavior causes us to squander, or waste, the time we have, we are careless with our lives. (Funny, I mistyped that last word ‘lives’ as ‘loves,’ and I’m thinking it’s not so much of a mistake. How much has our asotia stolen from our loves – either the people we love, or the activities or beautiful things we love???)

I think Ephesians 4:1 is mostly all we need to know about behavior modification. “Live lives worthy of your calling.” Now I think Ephesians 5:15-20 is just as great, maybe even more apt to our current modern situation. If I were ever going to write another book, I bet it would be about this passage. I could have a whole Be Very Careful… series. (The last one was called Be Very Careful Who You Marry. This one could be called Be Very Careful Who You Are.)

But maybe I won’t write a book on it, maybe the next thing, the next right step, is to actually be careful with my life, stop squandering the time I have, and really live this gift. That would be the creative expression Paul’s looking for, not just another book nobody reads. (Though maybe I can do both and write that one anyway.)

Leadership

The website that we use to create & post content on the Bridge (bridgefaithcommunity.com) and the Love With A Capital L (lovewithacapitall.com) websites is called Jetpack. It’s easy and free, 2 characteristics that make it very friendly for me. Jetpack wants it’s users to post often and gives lots of tools to make that happen. One of them is a prompt (a question or an idea), and today’s is: Do you see yourself as a leader?

This is interesting, because we all can have such widely contrasting views on this question. The nature of my position at the Bridge makes it obvious for me, but how do you answer the prompt? I’ve heard the phrase, “I’m no leader,” so many times, I’d start to believe it, if it wasn’t so wrong.

I also hear “I’m not a creative person.” Where do you think these lies began? When did we first hear them? Were they something we were told? And why? Why would someone lead us to believe such false notions about ourselves?

Much of our journey of faith, following Jesus, is un-learning the nonsense we’ve been taught.

Not a creative person? If we are awake and aware, if we look around, we see the fruit of a wildly creative God. The world is exploding with color and texture and beauty and function. We are made in the image of that God. It is as if we are saying, “We are all made in His image…except for me.” It’s strange we would accept this as truth isn’t it?

As far as leadership, last week we discussed our relationships in the home and asked some very difficult questions: Are we keeping score, making long records of wrongs? Are we patient? AND would our children be the first to call us patient? Would our spouses be defending our kindness? Would they defend the words we use, or our tones? Are we proud? Would our wives or children say we need it our way? Do they think we need to control how we make a pb&j sandwich? 

If these questions are so valuable (and so hard to answer honestly), that implies that people are watching. Our children are learning from our example. Our spouses are discovering who we are, how we move, what’s important to us. All of this points to the opportunity to impact the world around us, an opportunity that is only fully realized when we acknowledge the truth of our responsibility.

At work, in the grocery stores, behind the wheel, at the gym, we are always on display. How do we speak to each other? What can the cashier at the Walmart learn about the Gospel from our marriages? From our interactions with our teenage sons & daughters? If love is patient, would someone feel loved after interacting with us? Would they feel inspired our gratitude or deflated by our sour, complaining hearts?

This is the definition of leadership, and probably we’ve closed our eyes to avoid it. Those days are over, they have to be. There’s a saying that goes, “Teach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words.” We’re all teachers, illustrators, leaders, everybody is watching. I don’t always like the prompts, they often amplify a disappointingly stark difference in perspectives between the cultural and the spiritual. What we do matters to someone, so that makes it matter to everyone. Once we see this, our vision clears to possibility. And this is how it all starts…

2 Aching Muscles

On Friday, I pulled a muscle in my back. This, I suppose, isn’t the most surprising thing in the world. It happens. What’s embarrassing about it is that I did it while throwing frisbee. Or rather, disc golf. That sounds much cooler than “frisbee.” We’ve been playing quite a bit lately, and it was a pretty good time, until I felt like I got stabbed in my back and now it hurts to breathe too deeply or dead lift or get up or move quickly or walk around like a normal person. Sigh. So there’s that. I don’t know when I got this old. I used to be able to throw frisbees with no consequence. Sheesh, its just a frisbee.

If I take some ibuprofen, it’s not too bad. I bet nobody knew on Sunday morning or yesterday visiting family. Maybe they did, you know I can be very dramatic in my self-pity.

Today it’s better – I haven’t taken anything for pain yet today – but maybe that’s because there is another thing that is affecting an entirely different muscle in my aging body.

My youngest son just left for the first day of his senior year of high school. This has been only the first leg of the “lasts.” The last high school summer league in basketball. The last summer vacation of high school. The last first day.

There’s a meme (the wisdom literature of our time, our proverbs) that says something like “one day you’ll carry your child to bed and it’ll be the last time, and you won’t know it at the time.” And it can be anything. These 2 boys used to sleep on my chest. We walked them to school, drove them to practices, watched band concerts. I used to put them on my shoulders, or better yet, in a backpack for walks, like Yoda. If I sat them on my shoulders now, there would be many more than one muscle pulled. (My older boy is bigger than me in every way, maybe I should get on his shoulders to see now.)

As we all get older, we get the gift of knowing it’s the last. I knew the last time I’d coach each of them. I knew when I handed the championship trophy to this now-high school-senior and hugged him, that it would be the last time I would ever do that. That’s why I cried in front of everyone. We know today is his last first day of high school. We know the next first day of school, he won’t be living in this house. I cry a lot in front of everyone. (Today, though, with this pulled muscle in my back, it hurts A LOT to cry, more than usual.)

I talk a lot about a 2 hands theology. We are asked to hold the sadness – in this case, the sadness of the loss of my little boy – AND the celebration and joy – in this case, he’s a cooler, better person than I could have ever dreamed he’d be. Both of these boys are, and that is more wonderful than I can tell you. Except they’re not boys anymore, they’re men, and that hurts worse than I can tell you. My tears are a holy mixture of pain and joy.

That mixture has a name and is, simply, gratitude. More than anything that I can’t tell you is how thankful I am. My sister & I were talking, awestruck at these lives with which we have been blessed. This is certainly not to say they have been easy or without struggle or without times we doubted and there were times we might not have felt so grateful. But the thing about a 2 hands theology is that we have always been honest about those times, and the truth is, that’s probably why we’re so thankful today. We have been there for all of it.

I remember tearing their artwork from the walls of our old house as it went underwater, but I couldn’t get it all. And I prize what I took and mourn the loss of what I left behind. My aim has always been to live a fully present life, showing up to the pleasure, the wins, and the suffering, the losses. There have been so many of both, and I wouldn’t trade any of them.

So yes, I am celebrating with an ecstatic heart at this life I’ve been given and what I get to see and experience…and there is no amount of ibuprofen that can ease the hurt of what I get to see and experience. But the best thing is that there is no world where I’d want to.

Cookies

Sunday’s message ended with the wildly unreasonable command of Jesus to gouge out our eyes if they cause us to lust, to cut off our hands if they cause us to sin. Obviously, He couldn’t have actually meant that, right??? It’s this kind of passage, in the Sermon On The Mount, no less, that causes us such trouble and leads us down paths of discussion on hyperbole and exaggeration – which gives us a very nice, convenient out.

I’m reading Judges right now. (My practice is to read 2 passages, one from an Old Testament book and one from a New Testament book – the New Testament is Revelation. Just some light, easy reading. Ha!) In chapter 2, Israel does what Israel does – what we do – and is disobedient. Maybe it’s pretty subtle, but disobedience nonetheless. They have been told to “drive out” all the people in the Promised Land, and the chorus of the first chapter of Joshua is “____ failed to drive out the people living in _____” This refrain is in verses 19, 27, 29, 30, 31, and 33. Now, maybe they failed to drive out any of them or maybe just not all, but it’s still the same idea. They were given instructions and didn’t follow them.

In chapter 2, we are told Israel “abandoned the LORD… They chased after other gods, worshiping the gods of the people around them.” Now, why were the people around them? Because they didn’t drive them out. Because they didn’t do what God asked of them, commanded them.

If I keep cookies in the house, I’m going to eat them.

A solid trainer who knows me well will tell me to get them out of the house. Will tell me that I can’t be trusted (even if it hurts my feelings.) Will give me the tools to set myself up for success. Then, if I get rid of all but some or none of the cookies, I haven’t listened to him. And it might not be today or tomorrow, but I will eventually eat them.

The Canaanites are the cookies. gods like Baal and Ashtoreth and those ridiculous Asherah poles are just more cookies. And the Israelites are just like me, they can’t be trusted with cookies in the house.

So Jesus tells us, if the cookies cause you to stumble, if you’re going to eat those cookies, throw them out. If your computer causes you to stumble, throw it out. Maybe we can’t use our phones when we’re alone, maybe we need some controls. If our time alone with our boyfriends & girlfriends brings unbearable temptation, then maybe we don’t get alone time. Maybe we’re always outside or with others.

But we’re NOT children, we have enormous reserves of will power. We can stop any time we want. We can hold firm. We don’t have to eat the cookies. We are very strong and disciplined. And I’m 100% sure that’s true. This minute.

David could be on his roof – after all, it’s his roof. He could just not look at his neighbor Bathsheba (who, incidentally, is considered by whoever decides these sorts of things, one of the 5 most beautiful women to ever live. And whoever does decide probably has never seen the Angel, so maybe not top 5, but we get the point.) And I’m positive he did. For a while. Nobody takes the money from the drawer the first time they’re on the register. (I know, everybody says they do, says it’s the first time, but nobody believes that because it’s never true. And if it ever was, it’s such a small percentage that the exception proves the rule.)

I don’t have to eat the cookies today, maybe not even this week. But there will be a night I can’t sleep, or I’m sad, or disappointed, or just bored. Then, those cookies are in big trouble.

This hyperbole isn’t an out at all, it’s an illustration of how important it is. We’d rather not have hands than more cookies, and not have eyes than be that violently destructive to our own bodies, souls and spirits. If the off ramp is there, we’re going to take it. We’re going to settle for less, we’re going to forget that we’re children of the King, going to forget we’re made to fly.

And it’s really hard to fly while our arms are full of cookies.