Jesus

Play

The site prompt today is “what was the last thing you did for play or fun?” And probably this is it for me. I like to write, it’s super fun. But I was also thinking about you this morning and opened my computer to post. This question is in the same ballpark.

So first, what was the last thing you did for play or fun? Do you love to sing, or play the guitar? Paint? Work out, make or eat a great meal, reorganize your closet? Meet a friend for lunch? Binge watch tv shows or go to the movie theater? Play board games, read novels, listen to Morrissey albums, watch high school basketball games? Sleep? Kiss your wife? What are the things that make you come alive, refresh you, or give you rest? What are the things that are like revival to your tired soul? What are the things that, when you do them, you lose time & think, “I was born to do this, and could do it forever?”

I sat down to write this because I’m neck deep in reflection, evaluation, and anticipation – of the last year, the last several years, the upcoming days, months, years, who I was, who I am, who I am becoming. And this path always leads me to the Bible passage in the gospels where a blind man reaches out to Jesus, who asks him, “What do you want Me to do for you?”

If Jesus were to ask us that same question, how would we answer? Do we know? Have we ever even considered it? Who, what, do we love? What do we dream of, when we allow our imaginations off the least of routine and responsibility? What do we want Jesus to do in our lives? Do we believe He wants to, do we believe He can? Who is our God (or god)? Where are we blind and desperately need sight?

Speaking of doing something for play and fun, these questions are really fun, right? Do you remember sitting in elementary school letting our minds run wild, anywhere they wanted. The exhilaration of the lives we’d have. We wanted to be superheroes or artists, or moms or dads, or rock stars, and at some point, life and grown ups told us that it was impossible, to be realistic, to lower our expectations for our lives, that it is what it is.

But they were wrong. We are superheroes to someone, it isn’t just what it is, and we are all artists. Our greatest work of art are these lives we have been given…the problem is, we stopped seeing them as art. In lowering our expectations, we forgot who we were, who we were made to be, and settled for unfulfilling jobs, buying stuff we don’t need, emotionally distant from our spouses and children, believing the lie that what we do doesn’t matter, that we can’t change, that it can’t change. We became blind to the Divine, to the Holy Spirit (THE SAME Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead) living in us. We are the blind men alongside the road, reaching out to Jesus. He’s asking us the same question…

What are we going to tell Him, the One who set those talents, gifts, dreams, passions, blessings in our hearts? I, for one, want to see. That’s what I want for Christmas, from the Giver of all of our best presents.

Warmth

The site prompt for today is, “Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?’ It’s a pretty good question, but the answer really isn’t the point. What is so significant about this question is only that we ask it. A life without any reflection is one that is lived mindlessly out of habit,just getting through each day. And a life like that hardly ever leads to growth or, to use a word from the Scriptures, transformation. Instead, we stay stuck in our loops simply because we never pause long enough to recognize that it is a loop and to question it’s health or usefulness.

Maybe that job or relationship or budget or schedule or expense or whatever isn’t for us. Maybe it never was. Maybe it stopped being a positive influence months ago, or yesterday. Maybe something else is now a much better fit, and there isn’t any room because we’re still hanging on to the old. Or maybe we have the perfect thing for us already in our lives, but we can’t give it the attention it deserves because of the other distractions (sometimes, what was once so valuable becomes little more than filler now) that we haven’t gotten around to leaving behind.

And maybe some people or things need to return. Maybe the old has been unnecessarily and unintentionally excised.

This month, leading to the new year, is a natural time to empty out our lives onto the floor and take a good, long, hard look at what’s actually in there. Maybe we don’t even know what is taking our time, or energy, or money, and maybe (probably) we have even less idea why.

So, let’s begin to do that. We can do that in our room by ourselves (well, you know what I mean. Not by ourselves. When we are in our room, or anywhere, we are with Him, with the Holy Spirit, always with.) or with trusted friends and mentors. They might be able to ask some difficult questions in blind spots, like, “why do you spend your money there?” “What do you do after work?” What do you actually want?” “Why do you want that person/thing?”

It’s simple presence. We are totally present participants in our own lives.

Here’s what I notice around this time of year. We get so busy doing all of the things, ordering the presents, shopping, wrapping, sending the cards, baking the cookies. We do all of these wonderful things for other people that we forget the other people!! Martha chose to spend the time with Jesus making the hors d’oeuvres, vacuuming the floor, clearing the table, and doing the dishes to serve Jesus and the other guests, that she almost missed Jesus altogether. It can be the same in our lives. We get so busy chopping wood, we end up less than grateful, oblivious to the warmth it provides.

This season, let’s show up with all of us, wide awake, and ask the questions, see each other, listen, notice, pay attention, love somebody, love somebody else, and say thanks with out lives for the warmth He provides.

How Do We?

The BIG question from Sunday’s message is: How do we bring the Gospel into this world, here & now? It’s especially charged because we are less than 3 weeks away from Christmas Day, when we celebrate the birth of Jesus the Christ. He was the Gospel, that is how He brought the Gospel into this world. But as He left, after His resurrection, He gave us a Great Commission. “Go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Teach them to obey all the commands I have given you.” And ends with my favorite part: “And be sure that I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Essentially, take this Gospel into this world.

So, again, how do we intend to do that?

Do we do it with our theology? With our fancy commemorative, personally embossed Bibles that are specially made for left-handers or racecar drivers or pilots or Libertarians or whatever group we happen to be a part of? With our bumper stickers or decals? With our exemplary church attendance? With our perfect hair and shoes?

Or do we do it with our love? With our hands and feet? Our hearts and words?

Of course, theology is important. If we put our faith in a grocery store chain or a football team to save us, they won’t. That isn’t the Gospel at all. And our Bibles are important, inside those fancy faux-leather covers and pandering marketing ploys is the inspired Word of God. Bumper stickers and decals can testify, and being a regular member of a local church is a really big deal. These things do matter. (Maybe perfect hair and shoes don’t matter too much, though.). But they are not the point, they are not the Gospel, they do not save on their own.

Jesus Christ does, and when He was asked what we’re supposed to do, He said, “Love God with all of your heart, soul, and mind. And love your neighbor as yourself.” Is that the answer? Can it be that simple? It sounds that way. (Simple. Not easy.)

We are the cover songs (a cover song is when an artist interprets a song that they haven’t written, that others have previously recorded, in their own perspective and style) playing the Gospel of Jesus Christ, however we play it. Maybe we love with our hands, our presence, our gifts. Maybe we love through our money or our brownies. Maybe we love with a phone call or a meal delivery or a present under a tree. That’s our own interpretation. The lyrics are the same. Jesus Christ’s life, death, resurrection, and in Him, our creation, forgiveness, and salvation.

I think we can make our faith so complicated waiting for someone to tell us exactly what to do. But no one can. The guy that asked Jesus what he was supposed to do wanted a checklist to follow, and instead he got a word: love. What does that mean? How do we do it? Love can look different from different people in different circumstances, right? But maybe the point isn’t a solid structured checklist. Maybe it moves, evolves, maybe it’s dynamic. Maybe it’s better characterized as a relationship. Maybe it’s not what we do as much as Who we’re WITH. Maybe we don’t get a list because He wants us to keep holding His hand, asking Him, growing with Him. Maybe the way we play the song when we’re 15 shouldn’t be the way we play it when we’re 40. Maybe we’re supposed to be transformed through our journey with Him, in thought, action, situation, in the street and with our in-laws. Maybe we’re supposed to fall in love with Him.

Maybe that’s why, when He came, He came as a baby. Maybe that’s why He came at all.

Girlfriend In A Coma

Today’s site prompt (the hosting website asks a question every day, to spur thought and encourage me to post every day) is “What’s one thing you would change about yourself?” On one hand, I don’t like this question. It sounds like a wish in a well, like ‘I’d like to be taller,’ or to be able to fly, or whatever. But on the other, maybe this is a doorway into something deeper. In a mass email I received last week, a man named Mark asked if we were becoming the sorts of people we want to become, and that sounds like a variation of the variation of the same question I ask most Sundays. If our answer is a catalyst towards entering a new phase of growth, maybe it’s a good one. Instead of wishing to be a superhero, what if the one thing is to love our neighbor in ways they understand, or to show up to our spouses more often, and asking is the first step in actually doing it, that’s a different story, isn’t it?

This reminds me of a book I just read, Girlfriend In A Coma, by Douglas Coupland. It’s a good book that I read in college, because I have always liked Coupland (he wrote the impossibly important novel Generation X, where the term was first coined), AND because it’s titled after a fantastic Smiths song. A good book, but not life-changing, then. Now might be a different story.

The end has all of the main characters standing in an apocalyptic wasteland, they are the only survivors, and they have a decision. They can stay where they are (which isn’t at all as terrible as it sounds, for one HUGE reason that I won’t spoil) or go back to before the “apocalypse.” They choose to go back, deciding to use this new time, these new lives, to effect change.

Listen to this: “You guys just wait and see. We’ll stand taller than these mountains. We’ll bare open our hearts for the world to grab. We’ll see lights where before there was dimness. We’ll testify together to what we have seen and felt…Our hearts will shine brightly.”

“How can I give them a spark? He wonders. How can I hold their hands and pull them all through flames and rock walls and icebergs?…Every cell in our body explodes with the truth…We’ll be begging passersby to see the need to question and question and never stop questioning until the world stops spinning. We’ll be adults who smash the tired, exhausted system. We’ll crawl and chew and dig our way into a radical new world.“

Right??? I’m typing with tears in my eyes for 2 reasons. First, the thing they had to give up was so humongous, the cost was so high, it absolutely crushes my heart. But the second is the hope of their choice and their opportunity. Now, obviously, it sounds like they’re the ones who will “fix it,” who will “stand taller than mountains,” whose strength and significance is great enough to rewrite the future. I don’t believe that. Jesus fixes (fixed) it, Jesus stands taller than all mountains stacked up, His strength & significance is more than enough to rewrite the past, present, and future, forever and ever, amen.

However, I think this grandiosity isn’t always our problem. More often, we have far too little regard for our own participation. We simply don’t think we have a part to play in changing anything. We believe we’re a pebble thrown into the ocean.

This book (and all of the art that really moves us) presents a different narrative – that we can “testify to what we’ve seen and felt,” that we can let our hearts “shine brightly,” that we can give a spark, we can hold hands and pull, we can smash this tired, exhausted, hopeless system through our faith and hope in Our Savior, and in so doing, we can have a “radical new world.” What we do matters, and it matters a lot.

It doesn’t matter if the prompt is a good one. What’s important is that we keep asking, keep pushing, keep holding, keep crawling, keep shining, keep testifying. Every cell in our body explodes with the Truth, we just have to let that explosion out.

Christmas Presents

Last week, I went to a Morrissey concert in Atlantic City. Morrissey is a pop singer, and he’s been my favorite artist since I was around 13 years old and heard a song called “Ask.” (I’ll talk about the actual show on my lovewithacapitall.com blog, if you’re dying to know more.)

I went with my sister to the show, and her husband (who, inexplicably, HATES Morrissey) and the Angel also came for the evening in the city. We stayed in a fancy hotel with a perfect view of the ocean, ate too much of a great meal and way too much, several times, from an interesting cafe.

Then, home for last minute preparations for Operation Christmas Child shoebox Sunday. I made the soup and the cake, she made the artichoke dip, and we eased our tired bodies (we’re older now and need more rest than we used to) into bed.

Sunday morning, the Bridge packed the boxes we delivered to the drop point a day later, and hopefully we all ate too much of the community meal. Together.

This was a beautiful weekend, full of meaning and significance. But Morrissey was the least of it. That’s strange to write, because for so many years, I would’ve said he was the most important figure in my life, singing the songs that detailed my (our) emotions and gave me 1 person who, I believed, understood. I would’ve told you he saved my life on more than one occasion, and that might be true.

But during the show, I looked at my sister and hugged her and told her how much I loved her, how I didn’t want to be with anyone else but her. The songs were great, but this relationship was so much better, deeper, with mountains of history between us. Morrissey didn’t know me, our history was a one-way street. Those songs just gave us another extraordinary reason to share the time.

The 4 of us had dinner and breakfast. The Angel and I watched the sun set and rise in our hotel window and on the beach. He’s the best brother in the world, and she’s just the best person. I’d rather kiss her once and share one meal of noodles than watch all of the Morrissey shows ever.

So, yes, of course, Morrissey doesn’t know me, but neither do the boys and girls half a world away who will open our presents, and packing their presents with love and prayer with my family opened me in wonderful ways for which I can never prepare.

This is more of a bullet point narrative post than a long thoughtful essay, but the point is that while Morrissey may have saved my life, it was just to bring me to the place where my life could actually be saved and redeemed. When I fell in love with Jesus (10+ years after I fell in love with Morrissey), it began a lifetime of restructuring my values.

The first time I saw Morrissey, I left my friend at the door to run to the stage to be in the front row. That’s where my values were then, I now forgive the boy that did it, but it isn’t me now. Morrissey connects us. Without the connection, without the relationships, they’re simply chords and lyrics (which are still miles better than most things).

Now, I prefer dinner with my sister and her husband. I prefer holding the Angel’s hand and watching the waves roll in. I prefer shoeboxes and pumpkin pie. I even prefer making a cake for others.

And all of those preferences ooze down into every area of my life from the One with the position at the top. I am so grateful that Morrissey moves me, grateful that he means so much to me, because it paints a picture (however inadequate) and packs a shoebox full of the love, belonging and fulfillment of the One who opens my eyes and heart and changes everything.

Everything & Everyone

On Sunday, we ended with verses that seemed fairly innocuous on the surface. But it sometimes goes like that, doesn’t it? When we’re reading the Bible and think the book or passage isn’t for us, or worse, if it’s for someone else instead (like, “I sure wish _____ was here to hear this! She needs it!”), it’s scalding hot water when we open our eyes to the truth. “Slaves, obey your masters…and masters, treat your slaves…” Not only does it have nothing to do with us, it’s pretty offensive. Why is the Bible giving us instruction on how to properly own other people or be owned people? This sounds like evidence for those that believe the Bible is outdated, at best, and horribly problematic, at worst.

(It’s not either of those, but we’re not going to get into that here, today.)

So, we all mostly checked out until the directive to do everything as if we were doing it for the Lord. I say “we” because, when I see some particular verses we’re studying for the first time, I wonder how in the world they are going to find some way in to our lives. But then we do, and the surprise only adds to the weight of the sledgehammer. Whatever I’m doing – singing, working on my Avengers puzzle, talking on the phone, deadlifting, dancing, writing this, cooking dinner, watching tv…whether I’m at work, home, the gym or grocery store, do it all as if I’m doing it for the Lord.

What if I’m tired, or sick, or irritable, or the job seems pointless, or my back hurts, or or or??? Still, as if it was for Him.

Taken a small, obvious yet scary, step further, if the things we are doing are for Him… Well, the rest of the passage is about how we treat each other, is it possible that… No, that can’t be possible.

Can it?

Jesus tells a parable where the sheep that got others a drink were getting Him a drink, and the goats that didn’t get others a drink were not getting one for Him. Taken together, are we to also treat everyone as if He/She were the Lord??? Everything & Everyone?

Tomorrow is Election Day in our country. What happens if we take these passages seriously, and do it as if we were doing it for the Lord? And (gasp!) treat everyone as if it were the Lord? If our Facebook posts and explicit flags/stickers had the beautiful Name of Jesus in the place of the people we hate most? What if we stopped thinking the monsters on the other side were stupid and uneducated and godless, and instead considered them made in the image of God, loved, accepted, holy? Would it become harder to treat others with our tongues dripping with venom if we woke up to the harsh truth that that nasty condescension was actually directed at Our Savior? What if we took seriously the command to love each other?

Do you think it would make a difference?

Something Everyone Should Know

The website that supports our Bridge website has a writing prompt. They want me to post everyday, I don’t know exactly why. I mean, I’m sure it has to do with advertising revenue, but how much are they getting from the Bridge Faith Community and it’s visitors? Maybe it’s significant. Who knows how these things are structured? Anyway, the site prompt for today is, “What’s something you believe everyone should know?” and that will go very nicely with what I opened this computer to write about today.

My youngest son recently committed to a college. It was a process that felt long, with lots of twists and turns (but as I have no reference point, maybe it was short and easy – this is a relative thing). One college, Drew University, took an early lead and mostly had him locked up. They had programs – 1 in particular – that he loved with wchich no other school could really compete. So, they had him. We bought some t-shirts with the Drew ranger on it, and assumed he’d go to northern New Jersey in the fall.

But in one month, their incompetence or indifference gave him pause enough to look closer at other schools and other, overlooked characteristics of Drew (none of which were terribly good). As they fell, Lycoming College grew. Then, one Friday and Saturday, we scheduled visits with admissions, 2nd tours, and basketball practice with each institution.

Lycoming was Friday, and as we pulled into the parking lot, the basketball coach was standing outside. He greeted us warmly and was our guide for the day. We ate together, attended meetings with the business professor and admissions counselor together, toured together, and attended practice together. Throughout the day, current basketball players met him with an obvious excitement, as did the administrative assistants, professors, and counselors not assigned to him. Everyone knew his name and pronounced it correctly. This is no small thing, the doctor’s office where he has been seen since birth still can’t work that out. Admissions gave him a folder with his acceptance and scholarship information, everyone stopped to congratulate him. The basketball presentation had his name & picture and where he’d fit in the program. We spent the whole day and, when we left, later than expected, the coach asked us to text him when we got home.

The next day, the Angel and my boy drove to Drew, for what we expected would be the same sort of treatment. I stayed home for a wedding and waited by the phone to hear the second half of the competition. Their admissions appointment began at 8:45am, and they called me before 9. He was given the same kind of folder and sent on his way. No tour, no personal meetings, no warmth. Just instructions to walk around and…whatever, until basketball practice began in the afternoon. Instead, they got in the car and came home, decision made.

If a man or woman treats you poorly before you are married, do you think it’ll get better afterwards???

Now, let’s return to the site prompt. The entire Lycoming College experience was designed to make my son feel valued. To them, he was worth their time, energy, and money. In the huddle as basketball practice began, the coach reminded them team that he was there, and to show him what they are about, their identity. Everyone in the entire school must have had the same meeting in the morning.

He called Drew to ask for a class list in his major and they did it, but gave him the information in the wrong major. It’s the little things that aren’t little at all.

What I believe everyone should know is that they are valued, accepted, and worth the time, energy, and money. I want them (us) to know they’re here for a reason, created in, by, and for love. I want us to know we’re not a mistake and certainly not the trash. Instead, we are wonderfully made and children of the Creator of the Universe.

Drew treated my son as if he were just another name, another number. As if he’d be lucky to be mistreated by them. They’re wrong. How many times have we settled for this sort of disrespect? How many times have we believed the lies – in words or actions – that we are expendable, ordinary (at best) and worthless (at worst)?

Everybody should feel how Lycoming made my son feel, should know they are wanted. And, I’m more and more convinced that it’s our business, wherever we are, to make sure they do.

Go First

Last Sunday, we recklessly dove into the deepest of water, discussing who goes first, in our closest relationships. (Maybe more than only our closest relationships.) Who loves first? Who honors first? Who respects first? Who submits first? Sure, it’s uncomfortable, because we really like when they do, but when we both wait for the other, then what?

The Bible has these passages on “household codes,” where we have some clear direction on how to deal with each other, creating healthy soil for beautiful marriages (etc) to grow. Quickly and easily, the answer is “I do,” no matter who is the “I” and who is the “you.” I imagine everyone there in Sunday is feeling a certain type of way, because it took me almost an hour to get to that last short sentence. But maybe the certain type of way is elated, maybe they hang on every word and wish it wasn’t over so soon, no matter how long it is?

Anyway. I wanted to write about this today. It is Wednesday, so there have surely been loads of opportunities to practice. Probably, Sunday afternoon gave plenty of chances to swallow our pride and step out and lean in.

Maybe you were thinking about that friend who never calls…and called her? Or maybe he didn’t do those dishes…so you did? Maybe you had a chance to withhold your affection to teach that husband of yours an important lesson… but didn’t? Maybe she was supposed to say how sorry she is and how right you are, but hasn’t yet, and now you’re faced with a sore backside and a choice… which you used to lay the offense down and move forward?

Or maybe, like my son, you took the opportunity to excuse your own behavior by quoting 1 Corinthians 13, “love keeps no record of wrongs.” Hahaha. The Bible comes in handy in many different ways, doesn’t it? If we know enough verses and are willing to disregard context, we can justify almost anything.

So, how did it go? Were you able to give some solid words of affirmation even though she hasn’t gotten you even the smallest, most insignificant, gift?? (I know, I know, no gift is small and insignificant for someone who speaks the love language of gifts, but you get the point.) Were you able to kiss her even though she hasn’t played a game or watched a movie with you in months??

This post could be called Even Though. We choose to _____ even though ______ . I’ll make dinner tonight for a crew who may not like it, may not appreciate what I’ve done, may not say thanks or clean up afterwards. Probably you will, too. Maybe you won’t want to, maybe you’ll seriously think about leaving dinner unmade, ingredients still in the fridge and cupboard. And we’ll all have a choice. Will we do it even though? Will we go first? Or will we dig in until someone recognizes my obvious high ground?

We were away on a 3 day vacation, and we all had many chances to plant ourselves in our high ground. But I think, the truth is, we all separately realized just how rare and fleeting these moments together are, and decided that missing them was just too high of a cost. Hopefully the next step for me is to realize just how rare and fleeting all moments are, and not miss any more in service of my own fragile ego, and plant something fresh and new in the ‘high’ ground.

Fall

My birthday has me reflecting on my own life, who and where I am, in a manner usually connected to New Years. Then, as I shared this with a very good friend, he said that he always gets pretty introspective in the fall. At the time, I didn’t see the obvious connection – of course, the fall is a natural time to turn our thoughts to transformation. Step outside and the evidence is all around us, every single thing is changing, the things that were one way now are becoming something new.

In my inbox today, I opened a corporate mass email that spoke about this very thing, called. “Falling Into Change: How to Embrace the Transformation of Seasons.” It read, “As we wave goodbye to summer and welcome the cool embrace of autumn, it’s the perfect time to reflect on the natural changes around us. The leaves aren’t the only things transforming—this season offers a chance to embrace personal growth and transformation, too…It’s a season that naturally invites reflection and renewal. While the trees shed their leaves, you can think of this time as shedding old habits, mindsets, or routines that no longer serve you…Fun Fact: Fall, also known as the autumnal equinox, marks a time of balance—equal daylight and night hours. This balance can inspire us to find equilibrium in our own lives. Maybe it’s time to balance work and play, or focus on both mental and physical wellness…Sometimes we have to let go of what was to make room for what will be. So, what can we learn from the trees?

1. Letting Go is Natural: Trees don’t cling to their leaves, they gracefully release them to make way for new growth. Take a page from nature’s book and release what’s holding you back—whether that’s fear, doubt, or even old habits. 2. Change Can Be Beautiful: Just like the vibrant fall foliage, transformation is beautiful. It’s easy to resist change, but when we allow ourselves to evolve, we often discover new and vibrant aspects of ourselves. 3. Growth Requires Patience: Just like nature doesn’t rush its transformation, you don’t have to either. Give yourself the grace to grow at your own pace this season.”

Now, some suggestions they give, which are quite helpful: “1. Set New Intentions: Fall is a perfect time for setting fresh goals. Whether it’s prioritizing your health, starting a new hobby, or simply adopting a more positive mindset, set small, achievable goals that align with the transformation you seek. 2. Declutter Your Space & Mind: Just as nature sheds, fall is a great time to declutter. Whether it’s your home, your schedule, or your mind, clearing out the unnecessary gives you space to grow. 3. Practice Gratitude: With Thanksgiving around the corner, gratitude is at the heart of the fall season. Reflect on what you’re thankful for and how those things have shaped your journey this year. 4. Embrace New Experiences: As the season changes, why not try something new? Whether it’s exploring a fall-themed activity like hiking, picking apples, or sipping on a new favorite warm drink, stepping out of your routine can ignite transformation.”

These are really great, right? These business blasts we mostly relegate to our “Junk” or “Spam” folder can be helpful, in the right context. I’m sharing them here for a few reasons. Transformation, Growth, Intention, and Gratitude clearly point to a Christian perspective. We check in to our own lives, show up with all of us, honestly, and evaluate where we are, what we’re doing and if those things are actually healthy and helping us. Then we seek Him, hold His hand as He leads us into a brand new life.

(Maybe next time, I’ll tell you about where my own journey, where the questions I’m asking, are leading me. Not today, though.)

We ask all of these questions on Sundays. The Bible asks these questions in nearly every verse, most often in the form of “Here’s the Truth, now what will you do with that????” Will we lean into our divine calling, or will we continue to hold with white knuckles to the lifestyle that may not serve us well anymore, maybe never has, or is actively destroying us?

All Truth is ours, we simply have to keep our minds and eyes open to see and claim it wherever we find it, even in our daily emails. There is a “however,” though. Not everything is Truth, not everyone is concerned with our finding life, and as we transform, we are learning to test what we encounter. This email is awesome, and it ends with, “Fall Into New Arrivals. Speaking of transformations, our Anniversary Collection is filled with fall-inspired designs to celebrate change in style. From natural earthstone bracelets to golden jewelry that shines as brightly as the autumn sun, our new arrivals are the perfect way to reflect the beauty of this season.”

There is Truth, but it is an advertisement, ultimately pointing to our cultural duty as consumers. That doesn’t mean it’s all meaningless, we don’t have to throw it all out with the bathwater because it’s got an agenda, it just means we need to learn to sift and sort. This makes me think of the Belt of Truth, which we are coincidentally discussing in our study of Ephesians. You can see, when our hearts, minds, and bodies are all awake and aware, we can (and probably will) find God weaving everything into the most beautiful tapestry of His grace for us.

What Will We Choose?

Sunday’s message was about one thing, but it certainly felt like a far bigger bridge to cross. We were talking about the words submission & love in the context of Ephesians 5, in a conversation about our marriage relationships, but so much of it felt like a message on the power of the tongue. The way we speak to each other has the power to build, and it also has the power to absolutely demolish.

Of course, this isn’t just the words we use. There’s a lot more to communication than what would be written on a transcript. There is our posture, non-verbal cues, expressions, body language. When I give these Sunday morning talks, it’s pretty easy to know what everybody thinks based simply on how they are sitting in the pews. A person leaning back with folded arms is having a very different experience than one who leans forward with wide, open eyes. And then, there are the ones who nod off – that’s something else altogether, with little to do with the content. Some scrunch up their faces, some smile, some physically turn their bodies away from me, some write (and it’s obvious if what they’re writing is about the message or funny notes to the one sitting next to them) and others are just patiently waiting for me to finish (and others not so patiently).

This hasn’t even touched on the heart postures we hold toward each other to affect the space between us. Brene Brown wrote a brilliant reference book, labeling & defining our emotions so we have the words to communicate what we are feeling effectively. Usually, we use 3 descriptions: happy, sad, mad. That’s it. But that isn’t nearly enough to adequately convey our current mental/emotional states.

She has a chapter called “Places we go when we feel wronged,” and lists “anger, contempt, disgust, dehumanization, hate, self-righteousness.” We know these are not the same feelings, but we’d often just say ‘mad.’ Contempt is not anger. Brown cites researchers that call contempt “perhaps the most corrosive force in a marriage,” and a “strong predictor of divorce.” My guess is that we didn’t need researchers to tell us that. We have seen the look of contempt, and when we see it in a relationship across the table, we know very well how far past the edge it has gotten and now can only helplessly wait for the official end.

Paul uses submission, respect, honor, and a million others in his letters, but they’re all really just love. These words are all choices. We choose to submit, respect…or to carry the wrecking ball of contempt. Like so much of the Bible, we are left with a BIG decision: What will we choose? Will we choose to heal or to cut further? Will we choose to set down the record of wrongs or put them under our pillows in bed? We have a lot more agency in this than we believe, we do have the power to write new chapters and create new worlds (we are made in the image of our God, and have His Spirit living in us, after all), if only we have the imagination to dream this new story.