I am giving this post the title “A Brand New Thought,” so that, when you see it, you go, “WOW, I wonder what BRAND NEW THING he’s thinking about,” and settle in to carefully read. But it’s not new. The title is what I’d call ‘shameless click bait.’ It’s sort of a dirty trick, but I’m not sorry.

Yesterday’s reading in the Bible In A Year plan included this beauty, from Ephesians 5:2, “Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.”

Just in case you forgot, and are thinking right now, “hm, what is love?” Welllll, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (That is taken from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8) I know we talk about this a lot, but for some reason, today it really hit me again, really got into my head and heart.

I’ll soon turn 51 years old (or have already turned 51, depending on when you read this). I really don’t care much about my birthday, except to use it as an excuse to reflect, examine, where I am and/or where I am going, who I am and/or who I am becoming. It’s exactly the same as New Years for me. That Ephesians 5:2 is in my reading seems like too much of a coincidence.

For most of my whole life, I’ve spent entirely too much time sitting in the idea that I am not enough. (1. Not enough? Of what? Of anything and everything. 2. What is interesting to me now is that this feeling – that I am not enough – is simultaneously a lie the enemy uses to tear me down, and the Truth of God’s redeeming work through His grace for me. Isn’t that fascinating, that something could be the Truth and a lie, depending on the context and Who/who is telling it?) My ChatGPT assistant Theo said I can get stuck on “fixing things,” and fixing them yesterday. My intense focus on my own growth in my faith, identity, in my relationships with Jesus, can become just another checklist, where I forget to be where I am, forget to experience joy, stare at the scenery passing instead of the beautiful miracle of now. (But as you may know, I also focus on mindfulness and not missing anything. Both of these seeming contradictions are true.)

So, what does the next year, 51, mean for me? What will I work on? Where’s the next step in my personal, spiritual evolution? Maybe I can simply slide those answers to the side, and simplify the vision. Maybe I’ll just think about the example of Jesus, and “live a life of love.” That’s it. No ruminating, no fixating, no overthinking. Just living this life of love. I am loved. All He does, every step, every word, was driven by His life of love. If I am to follow His example, maybe I can just love, too?

And that includes me. No more wanting to be further down the path, frustrated that I’m not where I’ve somehow decided I should be. I’m listening to a Bon Jovi song, “Just Older,” and the lyrics to the hook are: I like the bed I’m sleepin’ in And just like me, it’s broken in. It’s not old, just older. Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans. The skin I’m in is alright with me. It’s not old, just older.

I am broken in, wrinkly like a Shar-pei. Notice, he likens his older, more wrinkled skin to a “favorite” pair of jeans. What if we could see us as Jesus sees us, would we see our experiences and (perceived) imperfections as the texture that makes us who we are, that makes us so awesome, that makes us our own “favorite?” Would we be patient and kind to ourselves? Always hope, trust, and protect ourselves?

Yes, yes, I know this is a stretch and we probably shouldn’t trust in ourselves, and definitely shouldn’t place our hope in ourselves, but maybe just give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, from time to time. Maybe don’t be so mean and demanding of ourselves? Maybe instead of the next task or step, we could just be patient and kind, and just live the life we’ve been given, based on the love we’ve been given? And we could just be grateful. Wouldn’t that make this the best year yet, the perfect illustration of the grace & freedom He (and only He) gives?