Month: January 2024

What If We’re Wrong?

We have to make decisions in, and about, our faith, right? Big decisions. Like, is the point to get out of here, escape this place, His creation, and go somewhere else? And if it is, what does that say about how we treat our neighbors, our pets, our environment, and everything else that we can see and touch? But what if that’s not the point, and we’ve neglected our home for this long? When God says “reconciling all things,” what does that mean? Is it like a reset, or a mulligan (like in Endgame when the Avengers go back in time and take a re-do)?

What if we’re wrong about each other? What if we are actually very trustworthy? Or what if we’re not? What if we should not have treated each other so awfully? Or what if we were too easy, and love is closer to what those people in the documentary I watched who ran teen camps in the deserts called “tough love?” What if we should’ve said “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” more often? Or is it possible that we said them too much and they lost all significance?

And I guess that’s my point.

Some decisions on how we live our lives don’t matter too much. Like the brand of toothpaste we use or how we fold our pants or what our favorite football team is. (Obviously, the right answer is the Dallas Cowboys, but everybody already knows that.) If we buy strawberry jelly and don’t like it too much, we can get another one next time. If our detergent gives us a rash, it’s uncomfortable, but it’ll go away and we can make a note to stay away from that particular kind.

But other decisions have much wider consequences. Some have eternal consequence.

If we choose the wrong person with whom to spend our lives, nothing is easy, we don’t want to go home, it’s tense and we’re full of anxiety, walking on eggshells. If we don’t tell them “I love you,” we might regret it forever. If we never hear “I’m proud of you,” we might spend our whole lives searching for it in all sorts of destructive ways.

Are we really thinking about our choices, are we intentional, consciously evaluating the things we value? Or are we sleepwalking, being swept along by what our parents or friends or celebrities believe & live, or are we just too busy and distracted to pay attention?

We’re going to be talking about community a lot. Are we spending time with our friends and family, with our tribe, taking the steps through this life together? Or do we find that most of our time is spent alone, isolated, behind screens, windshields, and walls? If that’s the case, is that really the choice we made, or did it just happen? Did we just wake up one day with no one to call with the celebrations or in our suffering?

Did we decide we weren’t worthy of beauty and peace? Or is that simply how we’ve always thought? And, really? Always???

Some of these questions absolutely need to be asked, because we didn’t choose them, it feels like they chose us. If we hear a lie often enough, it can sound like the truth, but it’s still the same filthy lie.

This morning, driving to the grocery store, I was thinking about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we continue to allow the heresy of a salvation by works to subtly creep in, what exactly does that mean? And what if we’re wrong?

So, if the right theology is Grace+… If our salvation is lots of grace, but we have to do our part (no matter how large our part is)… If the True Gospel is closer to the gospel of Jesus and Chad (or Sally or Kevin or whatever your name is), and we partner with God to clean ourselves off to become acceptable, then what?

What if the Gospel you hear every Sunday, of Christ ALONE, is wrong?

Well, 2 things about that. First, the works: Ideally, our response is to live lives of love and peace and kindness and beauty, so maybe that might count. But does it really matter?

Is that one answered with a far more important question, why does “Christ Alone” matter so much? If the Gospel of Jesus ALONE is wrong, we would be guilty of shrinking ourselves and our egos, making Jesus the center of this wonderful Story, making it His Story. Our mistake would be to elevate the sacrifice of Jesus to cover all of us, everywhere, for all time. His life, death, and resurrection would be Everything. His love would be deep, wide, thick enough to hold every one of us as His children. We would define ourselves by/through Him, He would have the final (and only) word on our identity. We would, essentially, make Him bigger than He is.

But, on the other hand, if Grace+ is wrong… Then we elevate us, we make our actions, our behavior, our rule-following, necessary. The story would be ours. And we would minimize the cross, we would de-value the blood of Christ. We would say, “thanks, but it’s not quite enough.” Are we prepared to say that?

But what if we say that in a million ways, just because we never asked the questions, never thought to consider what we believe and what it all means? We started this post asking questions about some specific scenarios, but what if the way we answer the last one – if it’s a Grace OR Grace+ New Creation – is the answer for all of the other ones?

The Practice of Doing Nothing

Sunday morning, I commented on how the American Christian Church has often espoused, sometimes subtly, sometimes not, a salvation by works instead of by grace. Of course, it might not be explicit, but it’s there. There are things we have to do so that we can ‘go to Heaven,’ ‘get His reward,’ or ‘get saved.’ Things we have to do to earn our “free” gift. Things like going to church on Sundays, confessing our trespasses, knowing the right theology, praying the right prayer, reading our Bibles every day, and on and on. We’re a prideful culture, with an historically strong work ethic, a mean streak of independence, and boot straps crafted solely to be pulled. These characteristics are fine at the workplace or on the basketball court or, well, literally, everywhere else. We give our best effort, everything we have to give, with courage, resilience, and perseverance. How can that possibly be a negative? It is only in the context of grace. The only requirement for rescue is to be rescued. Anything and everything else, to deserve this rescue (or worse, to rescue our own selves) is noise and only moves us further away from actual rescue. The American Dream is not the Gospel, as much as we might like it to be. The salvation story is one of Christ Alone, and we must no longer perpetuate this false teaching. And I’m very indignant about it, right?

But earlier, in the same sermon, I said a practice, any practice, takes practice. We turn our heads to Truth, to Him, we focus on God as our “Strength and Shield,” we do the things. So there it was, I also may have given a contradicting, competing, message that illustrated how easily this inadvertent false teaching happens.

I’d like to think I had very clearly contrasted salvation with sanctification (of which practice IS most certainly necessary), and not been within miles and miles of a theology of works. I am a naive, optimistic person, but I’m not blind or crazy. I know that not everyone is hanging on every word of a 45 minute talk on a Sunday morning, in lock step with every word and thought. I know not everyone is giving 100% attention. (I look in your faces while I’m up there, I know;) I also know that I’m probably not as clear as I mean to be, or believe I am, either, no matter how many hours I spend in preparation and how hard I try.

It’s a simple concept, but quite difficult, too. We don’t do anything, except the things we do. Ha! Order matters in this. We don’t do anything FIRST, we do the things AFTER. We are rescued, SO THAT we can do the things, SO THAT we can live these beautifully faithful lives we are called into. We have practices, we must have practices, but they’re not to earn anything, they’re only to experience the thing is already ours.

This is a whole lifetime of learning, and it is a lesson that runs in a totally different direction of everything we’ve ever been taught. It might be the most important truth we will every understand, and we’ll miss the mark over and over. The Good News is that He is graceful. The bad news is that we are not. We will expect others to be exactly where we are, understand exactly what, and how, we understand. We’ll judge with planks in our eyes. We’ll hit each other with our theologies, often viciously, and often with this false teaching that has crept into our solid, true theology.

The point is that we continue to soak in the truth that we are already loved, wildly, without limit or end, and also without our participation. It’s not about us, it’s not our story. There is so much peace there. We’ll continue to root out the me in the Gospel, and when we’re done, and think we have it all together, we’ll understand that thinking we’re done, and that we have it all together IS me in the Gospel, and start all over again. We’ll continue to call it false teaching, because that’s what it is, and we’ll love each other in all of it.

Nothing But Helmets For Everybody

Even though we were beginning a study on the Shield of Faith, moving on from the Helmet of Salvation, I realize now there is no moving on from the Helmet of Salvation. Of course, this reference is to the beautiful passage in Ephesians 6:13-17, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

I have struggled with weight for almost my entire life. I would decide to give up hot dogs or soda or ice cream or packaged foods or whatever, all modifications based in various levels of fact and/or current trends, and probably all fairly intelligent. It’s not great to drink soda, or to eat foods made in a lab rather than made in the ground. And hot dogs…while unbelievably delicious…well, there’s a reason we try so hard to not know how they’re made.

Anyway, I am able to give up donuts for a time, sometimes a long time, but eventually, they find their way back into my life, a bite at a time. I can lose a few pounds, and keep them off for seasons, but they surprise me and end up back on the cold, hard scale, my nemesis.

What does the weight yo-yo have to do with the Armor of God? My focus in the kitchen is usually based in a negative, what I must “give up,” in order to be a healthy person, to find a healthy weight. And our focus in the spiritual life is often driven by the same motor; what we have to stop, or what we can’t do, the thou shalt not’s. Right? I can’t lie or gossip or envy. So, we stop spreading the latest news at the water cooler, until we can’t. We stop telling any untruths, until we don’t. We stop eating bread, until we eat bread again.

This kind of negative posture is based on me, on my superior will power or self-control, but I think I’ve been very clear that when things are based on me being awesome and supremely capable, it doesn’t ever lead to lasting success. Maybe I can be awesome enough today, but on a long enough time line (depending on how motivated or shamed I am), I will always let everybody down.

Instead of all of the ways we have to be different, all of the behaviors and habits we have to stop, the Helmet of Salvation tells a different story. Instead of detailed lists of who we are not (and how we can improve), the Helmet simply states the truth of who are. We don’t get better, we get new.

My dysfunctional dance with weight mostly ended when the focus became health & fitness. I began saying Yes rather than No. I liked me, thought I deserved better than hot dogs and cookies with cheap unnatural ingredients from a factory. This is not to say I don’t eat those cookies, it just means my value isn’t tied to whether I’m perfect or not. And the behaviors that make me feel like garbage (the behaviors that “miss the mark”) because they’re beneath me, I don’t have to stop, per se, I just have to do the things that are in line with the honor and dignity with which I have been bestowed.

But I have to understand the “honor & dignity with which I have been bestowed.” I have to know who I am, to live up to that identity. Then, my worth isn’t based on my perfection – on my totally abstaining from hot dogs forever – it’s rooted somewhere else, in SomeOne else. And that is exactly what the Helmet of Salvation is all about, that’s why it’s the only thing I’m talking about for the rest of my life.

Reflections

In my reading today, I ended up stuck on Proverbs 27:19. My Bible is a New Living Translation, and the NLT of that verse says, “As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.”

Sometimes, I’m just moving right along. Sometimes, I take notes. Other times, I simply soak in the words and the feel of the pages in my hands. (Incidentally, when I purposefully study the Scriptures, I use a computer and lots of translations. The physicality of the paper or the hard cover has no draw for me. Instead, then, bridging gaps and making connections are the point.) Today was a little bit different, though by no means rare or unusual. Reading for pleasure and communion became study, then back again, translations mixed, computer screens and the thin pages held hands with each other, to the extent that it wasn’t either study or communion, either work or rest, it was both, and. It was everything, dancing together, blending seamlessly into one.

And I was stuck. My eyes wouldn’t skip down the 1/8” to verse 20. This isn’t that unusual, either, and when it happens, I know I’m about to be laid bare and kneaded like dough.

“The heart reflects the real person.” Who am I, really? Would my heart agree? When I think about my heart, it’s the motivation, the why behind the actions you see. Why am I doing these things, any things? Is it ministry, like I think/hope it is. Or is it obligation, vanity, ego, simple image-making, people-pleasing, or something else that I haven’t yet considered at all? I wish I could tell you, once I was open and totally authentic, it WAS ministry!!! But I don’t know yet. I pay lots of attention to this very thing, but “the heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,” (as it says in Jeremiah) – it’s why I ask, seek, knock for clarity, to be shown my dark, deceitful parts before they can take root and lead me down paths not meant for me. But just because I pay attention doesn’t mean I can’t fall, or get confused, or misled.

So back to the matter at hand, why was I stuck on this verse 19?

The NIV translates it as, “As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.” Now, my life reflects my heart, which reflects the real me. What does my life say? And does it actually say what I think it does? Or what I want it to?

I don’t always know why I write these posts, sometimes it’s in writing that I discover the point. But I already knew, today. I knew before I opened my computer to type a letter.

The Scriptures are never simply one thing. This library of books is not just instruction, not just history, not just poetry, not just allegory, or parable, or prophesy, or love letter – it’s all of them. It cuts us, wounds us, and puts us back together and heals us. It tells us we are here, now, and we are special and loved extravagantly, and then invites us to grow and move beyond the here and now. This library also serves as a mirror, reflecting our faces, hearts and lives, back at us.

I’m pretty sure the answers to all of these questions I’ve asked aren’t important. (And if they are, maybe they’re the sort of questions that are answered with the Spirit in private;) But what IS very important is that we ask them. It’s important that we jump in enough to get stuck, that we acknowledge that we’re stuck, and that we care enough about the answers to stay stuck until we’ve asked the questions. Maybe today isn’t a day for answers, maybe just for questions. Maybe I need to ask if the values I think I hold are really the ones illustrated by my life. Maybe I need to ask myself, “is it, really?” Or “Why are you doing that?” Or “Why did you just say Yes (or No)?” Or “Is this love?” Maybe I need to be laid bare and kneaded like dough to awaken me to my own beautiful life. Today, I did. I don’t always listen, don’t always ask.

So anyway, what did I find in this reflection? Me. Like all reflections, I saw me, for all that means, the good (of which there is much more that I can see than ever before), the bad, and the places we (He & I) need to address. I saw guilt and forgiveness. I saw love. I saw the same thing I always see: a new creation.

It’s a new year, I wrote this to get to this one line: May we all follow Him into our own reflections, see the intense, boundless, endless love He has for each of us, and may we ask all of the questions.

New Creation

So, I have this very great friend who got married on New Years Eve. We’ve known each other for 20ish years and in those 20ish years, we’ve been through everything. She was married to a guy who turned out to be a, well, he turned out to be a guy NOT to be married to. We cried together, the 3 of us, The Angel, her, and I, in our rented apartment. I stayed in relationship with him for her, until I couldn’t, because as it turned out, he was also a guy NOT to be in relationship with. We drove together to pick up her things. We watched movies, ate ice cream, wept, laughed. We followed Jesus together, we mourned the loss of our church together. We fell apart, then returned. We hurt each other, picked each other up, carried the other, said things we can never take back, and said and did things that cemented our lives to the other. She prayed for God to bring her a good man, a man more after God’s heart than hers. She wondered if the prayer was unanswered or if the answer was a gentle, soft, “no.”

But, of course, there would be a man (I spoiled the ending with my first sentence) with such a beautiful heart, the kind of man that could/would be her husband. It’s not always that the best people get the best things, but when it happens, it must be savored.

As they enjoyed their first dance, the only 2 people in the world, I thought of this passage in Isaiah: “…The Lord, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters, who brings forth chariot and horse, army and warrior; they lie down, they cannot rise, they are extinguished, quenched like a wick: “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?” (Is. 43:16-19) This was truly a New Thing. The “former things,” the “things of old,” we would not remember. That guy is forgotten. The years and years of patient waiting on the Lord, wondering if this moment would ever happen, are forgotten. In His timing, He had made a “path in the mighty waters.” Her mourning had turned to dancing before our eyes, and our only duty (our honor, our privilege) was to perceive it.

Earlier in the day, we discussed the new year, and our preparation for it. These 2 weren’t passively waiting for a miracle, and they weren’t restlessly trying to manufacture that miracle. They didn’t settle for less 10 years in. They simply stayed on the path, listening, wide-eyed and open-hearted, becoming the woman & man they are today. To paraphrase the verse in Proverbs 21:31, their horses were prepared for battle – they had prepared well, faithfully – but this victory was the Lord’s. This victory was always the Lord’s.

What are we doing to prepare for this beautiful gift of our lives? And how? Are we patiently faithful, or are we still choking the wheel, trying desperately to force what we want, when we want it. Are we frustrated & confused at the perception that God isn’t listening, or isn’t going to show up? When will it be me, my turn? Why isn’t He answering? Where is the victory?

I stood in the front as she walked down the aisle, I wondered how many of these questions she asked, and how hard it must have been to not settle for just another warm body. I have a great job, and I got to stand in front of everyone, look at them both, and say, “you both deserve this.”

I don’t know what this year will look like for us. I know it’s not off to the greatest start, as I sit here with a box of tissues on my lap waiting for the sinus medicine to work, but it’s only the 4th. I do know last year ended with a Big Win. We have questions to answer, horses to prepare, moments to craft, and people to love. So many people to love. He’s doing a new thing, for us, in us, around us, through us, and maybe we have 20 years of waiting to do, maybe we have ex-husbands to forget, maybe we have colds & flu’s to suffer, pain and loss to endure, but it’s springing forth, even then, even if we can’t yet see it.

Congratulations to the Mr & Mrs. And to all of us, a very happy New Thing!