I wrote a book called Be Very Careful Who You Marry (The other one I have written, so far, is Chronicles, Nehemiah, and Other Books Nobody Reads. I love that title, but I like Be Very Careful Who You Marry even more, mostly because my dad unknowingly titled that one 40ish years before I wrote it. I think he’d be very, very proud how careful I was; like him, I married well out of my league. Anyway.) and in it, I included several words that created the foundation for a marriage, the fabric of our Bridge community and my life. These are words like Intention, Attention, Respect, and Communication.

Last week, I think I added 3 more. This was not actually my intention, but as I gave the message, they felt vital, and since then, as I consider them, they gain even more weight.

We discussed the Grace we have been extended, and that we extend to each other. The Grace that recognizes that we are made in the image of God, and covered with the love of God, a love so great that it would lead Him to the cross. If those are all true, how could we not give it to each other??? How could we look down or dismiss those whom He has made? How could we speak such venomous words to anyone, when He says, “when you did it for/to them, you did it to me?” (That’s a paraphrase, but you can read the actual passage in Matthew 25.) Grace doesn’t recognize “them,” only “us,” because in Christ, their is no “them.” Grace sees us all as His, and behaves as if we all have the honor that comes from being children of The King.

Then, well, it’s not just one word, it’s more of an idea, but we can call it Perspective. There is a BIG story we’re in, not just here, now, to us. It is His story and it extends forever in all directions. Have you ever heard that helpful question, “will it matter in 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 years?” It helps us put this moment, which we so easily elevate into massive proportions, into perspective. How about adding, “will it matter in/for eternity??” Maybe the record of the 2025 Dallas Cowboys won’t, right? Then maybe it shouldn’t matter quite so much to us.

This is a fascinating paradox, because, taken with the first one (Grace)… Yes, it is His Story and not ours. Yes, the time line is infinity and not measured in days and months. Yes, the Dallas Cowboys record isn’t of eternal significance. BUT. This God loves us so much, loves His creation so much, that all of it matters. Everything that matters to us matters to Him, so it actually elevates the value of each moment. His love turns the tiniest blink sacred & holy. Cool, right?

The last one is Gratitude. I’m listening to a song by Briston Maroney, called “Paradise,” and it is soooo good, loudly singing along while I’m wiggling in my chair, eating an Asian pear. This house, this chair. Tonight, I’ll eat cheeseburgers with my wife and oldest son, then we’ll probably watch the new Jurassic Park movie. What could possibly be better than any of this? Now, a song called “Better Than Love,” by Hayley Kiyoko. The hook is, “Somebody tell me, what’s better than love?” This Hayley is so right, what could ever be better than love? Yet we forget so often, don’t we? These miracles go unnoticed because we are sleeping through our lives. Everything is a gift. And if everything is a gift, if we don’t deserve anything, if nothing is ours, then we can simply say “Thanks” and be content with whatever it is that we are able to hold, for however long we get to hold it. We could even share it, or give it away.

How could we transform our lives, families, neighborhoods, countries, our world, if we truly adopted these principles, and took them out into every day, every relationship, every policy, every procedure? It’s staggering to imagine. We’d eliminate envy, worry, the headache of having to remember each offense and keep score. We’d be able to stop trying to get even, or to get more. Our words could create a brand new reality. We’d be present and aware. Kisses and hugs would take on new meaning, we could begin to listen, we would show up. I really, really love to dream about these kinds of things, the transformation of the entire world that begins with 2 people giving each other our undivided attention, remembering that they are made in His image, that this day & this breath are wonders, that we are loved and have nothing to do but stop running and receive it. Remembering that we get to love each other, too.

And, honestly, what’s better than love?