Over the long Thanksgiving break from school, Samuel made the decision that he would like to play basketball for the Annville-Cleona 8th grade team. As he is naturally a very good athlete, this was not too surprising for me
Before we move on to the reason for this post, let me tell you these 2 things.
His first practice is at 2:30 today. How exciting!
He was late to sign up, basketball practices have already started (his first practice is today, the team has been practicing for a week). So, I walked alongside him, but he had to communicate with the coach to ask if an exception would be made for him. Yesterday, as the girls began their practice, he strode across the gym with his head up and shook the coach’s hand, introduced himself and asked if he could, please, be added to the team. Yesterday, I was changing his diapers and bringing him home from the hospital and today he shakes hands, looks a man in the eye, and speaks clearly like a beautiful young man. And this morning, as I walked through the living room, he tackled me and knocked me clean off my feet.
Anyway. It’s not surprising he changed his mind and wants to play basketball, but that means I have 2 boys on 2 different basketball teams, and THAT means I suddenly have a full calendar.
In April, I left a job to work full-time from home, so I’m flexible enough to have 2 boys on 2 different basketball teams.
And I am overwhelmingly grateful.
I have no idea how long the work from home experiment will last, and sometimes I drift into an unhealthy train of thought wondering what I’ll do if/when it ends. And this causes me to close my eyes to what is in front of me right now. That’s what worry or regret or anxiety or even nostalgia does, blinds us to here and now.
These days are just such a wonderful gift. If the day comes when I can no longer work from home, what a shame it will be to look back on this season and wonder why I didn’t pay closer attention or notice more or linger longer.
I finished my book this morning – written, edited, everything, all done and the shipment is on its way!! (By the way, this work is why these posts have been fairly irregular…) After I placed the order I crawled onto the floor and laughed, trying to wrap my arms around the fact that this blessed life is mine.
One of the main themes that comes up again and again in the talks I give is presence – that we are fully present to our lives, that we not miss the bushes that are burning, that we not wake up and say, “God was in this place and I was not aware.” It feels like the refrain to a pop song, on repeat, but I suppose it needs to be, because the pull to somewhen else is so strong, always seeking to yank us out of our now. Maybe that’s the gift of the lesson, so that the time between when we start to fade out of this moment and we catch and realign ourselves gets shorter and shorter. Maybe that’s maturity, growth. Maybe we’ll always instinctually worry but we’ll reach the point where we immediately remember the verses in Matthew about birds and flowers and grasses of the field, and that tomorrow will worry about itself. And that’ll be enough to breathe again.
I pray that Samuel is right where he is, about to throw up in the steel trash can next to the rack of basketballs from running so much, hating the running but having the time of his life, because someday, he’ll look back on this day and smile. I know he will, I do. Good times.
I just hope he doesn’t say, “I wish I would’ve…” I hope I don’t, either.